I'm A Loser

Chapter 28.

"Stuart what are you talking about?" I asked confusedly. He sighed and shook his head.

"I've been seeing a therapist. The pills haven't been helping my headaches at all. I just feel so low sometimes. Like I don't belong anywhere. I see you happy at gigs and how much you love the scene. All I have to offer is my shit bass playing and trying my best to make you proud of me."

I shook my head and leaned in kissing his chin. "I love you Stuart. I don't care if you're bad at playing or if it doesn't even interest you. I love you for the art nerd you are."

He laughed a little and looked into my eyes. "You do?"

I smiled. "I do. You never have to try to impress me. You do that naturally by just being you. Were married. I don't regret it either."

He blushed. "I don't regret it either Molly. I love you so much I just...the thought of you seeing me weak and in dire need of help...I thought you'd think I was a bloody pissy child or somethin."

I giggled and held his hand. "I would never think such a think about you. I love you."

"I love you too."

I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. His body slowly falling on mine as I laid back. Our breathing turned heavy as I began to pull his coat off.

"John hasn't come back?" I asked breaking away.

"Forget about Lennon." He mumbled and began roaming my body with his hands. I moaned softly and pulled his shirt off. We began undressing and getting hot and heavy until the door burst open. John drunk out of his mind with Tiffany in his arms. The two making out like crazy. I hurriedly put my top back on.

"What is....Tiff! What about Paul!?" I yelled.

"He was bein a prick and went off with some other girl." She pouted. "But lucky me, Johnny here was available." She giggled as he kissed her neck. Stuart and I sat up and fixed ourselves as John and her continued to make their way to the mattress, taking their clothes off. I sighed and turned to Stu. He nodded and soon we were putting clothes on and headed out the door.

..

"I never realized how dead Liverpool is this early in the morning." I yawned, holding Stu's hand. We must have walked for half an hour. To our luck, there was a small diner open, so we headed inside.

"Two coffees." I ordered. The waitress filled our cups and left us alone.

"You think they're done?" Stu asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Knowing Lennon, he's probably doing his famous all nighter. Tiff will be sore in the morning."

"I almost forgot you and Lennon once had a thing." He muttered.

"It was short lived. Besides. I know someone who pleases me more than Lennon ever could."

"Yeah? How about we finish our coffee and find a lonely spot?" He smirked.

"Naughty boy Sutcliffe."

..

We hurried our drinking and headed to the small park, laying in a small hidden garden, laying a sheet on the ground. I was on top, moving my body slowly on his. He moaned softly and ran a hand through his hair. His bare pale chest rose and fell quickly. Our hands linked and held tight as I bounced my body up and down his.

"Oh Stuart." I gasped.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched between his eyes with his fingers. I slowed down.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He looked at me and nodded.

"Y..yes just...keep going."

I did as told and soon he began again, feeling uncomfortable. I stopped and he began crying. My heart broke at the sight of him in pain. He sat up and buried his face in my chest, holding onto me tightly as he cried. I rubbed his back and kissed the top of his head, playing with his hair to soothe the pain.

"I'm sorry." He apologized over and over again.

"Shhh. It's okay baby. I'm here."

"It's not fair to you."

"I'm not going anywhere Stu. Don't feel bad."

"I can't even make love to my wife for christs sake. What the fuckin hell is wrong with me??" He shook his head. I held him closer and whispered sweet things in his ear. This calmed him down and we soon laid back beside one another, just looking up at the stars.

"I want to get better Molly. I don't want to be broken."

"Stuart don't say things like that. You're not broken."

"I am though. I should be making passionate love to you right now. But I can't."

I turned to him and stroked the side of his face. "We'll go to the doctor. Tomorrow morning alright?"

He shook his head. "Molly we need to go to school. You 'ave exams and..."

"I have to worry about you first. I can always retake them. As for now, you're my main priority."

He nodded slowly and held my hand. "I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled, resting my head on his chest.

.. ...........