Suicide[ON HOLD]

A new beginning (2.2)

.thanks for all the votes&&support everyone...I really appreciate it&&sorry I haven't updated in awhile buuuut.!-here it is....are....you....ready...!?-*bullhorn voice..!*-:D

The next day after Cody and I got a pregnancy test we waited seven long minutes for the results. "What does it say?",Cody asked, as a horrified expression appeared on my face. I handed him the little white stick that held that pink plus sign on the display; that I so badly dreaded. "Are you going to tell your dad?",he asked. I lay curled on the bathroom floor as that pink plus sign etched its way into my memory. Cody was now next to me as he repeated his question. I shook my head 'NO' then said, "Not right now; I can't bring myself to do it."

Two weeks had passed and I still hadn't told my dad about my unexpected pregnancy. My stomach was now developing a pouch,yet; with the right clothes could be easily hidden. After a long talk we decided on telling our parents' before they noticed me getting any bigger. First to tell was my dad; the impregnator; and as Cody drove to his house I was nervous as hell. After knocking on the door we waited then he appeared in the doorway. As we entered, Cody chose to stay in the kitchen while my dad and I sat on the couch. "How's everything been going Zoe?",he asked, a casual tone to his voice. I hated the way he wanted to talk to me as if all that had happened hadn't happened. As if he didn't use to beat me everyday and do more than love me.

I got right to the chase; realizing my change of mood; not wanting to play along. "Dad, I'm pregnant and...well...",I hesitated, scared to face the actuality of things. "It's yours",I continued, while looking him in the face, waiting for a reaction. He looked...well...he looked lost and as he searched for words my mind wet back to that day; the day he came home and forced himself on me. The day that was the worst out of all the times he molested me; the worst because Cody had to witness it.

I was torn from my thoughts when a voice interrupted; his voice. "Are you sure?",he asked, looking petrified but serious. I looked at his face in frustration as I said, "Yes, I haven't had sex with Cody and you're the only one who has had sex with me in the past month." "Do you know how far along you are?",he asked. I looked at Cody then back at my dad and said, "I'm six weeks and I plan on giving the baby up for adoption." "Will it be an opened or closed adoption?",he asked, anxiously. Why did he care what I did with the baby he didn't care about the others.

I looked at Cody then said, "Open adoption." My dad looked down as he said, "Sorry." I looked at him in disgust, got up, and as Cody and I left I said, "Don't be sorry, just know it's your fault." After that Cody took me to get white castles; what I really craved. *You get it haha funny Zoe;* I chuckled to myself. When Cody and I got home with the food we sat in the living room and ate. "So, we told my dad when are we going to tell your parents'?",I asked, looking up from my food.

Cody rested my legs on his lap as he said, "When the time is right, you'll know to tell them." With all the drama going on I couldn't sleep that night. As I sat up I held my stomach and said, "I wish you were Codys'." I began crying because I wanted to hate this baby badly; yet I loved it with all my heart. I searched for my make-up bag that I had stashed in my suitcase and tiptoed to the bathroom; awaiting my release.

The next morning I awoke to the distant sound of Cody's voice calling my name. Cody found me rather quickly and as he entered the bathroom he knelt down near me and pulled me into the safety of his arms. As he got a towel from the bathroom closet he began wiping all the blood off of my arms and thighs. "Zoe, why'd you do this!",he yelled, tears forming in his eyes. I looked at him dazed as I started to drift into the same blackness that had engulfed me last night. I caught a glimpse of Cody getting up and as I looked over I saw him grab my make-up bag and dump it in the trash.

"What are you doing?",I yelled, weakly. I crawled to the trash can as I tried to retrieve my razors. "Zoe, you have a problem and you're not going to do this anymore; it's going to be hard but i'll help. This is a good way to start; by getting rid of that crap",he said, holding me back. I eventually gave up fighting him and as I brought my knees to my chest he held me and said, "I'm going to get you help Zoe, I mean it." As I cried I said, "I don't want help I want to take away the pain and cutting is the only way." Cody held me tighter at the thought of me hurting myself.

.that was it..the next chapter...thanks to all my supporters for reading&&voting I appreciate it..!-thinking 'bout a Cody's P.O.V comment&&tell me watcha think..!-vote...comment...&&fan..!-love you all....<3 -xxoxx-:D

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