My Irrelevant Roommate

Update

Hi my loves, as a writer I've lost my penmanship. I thought I'd share a few words with you and maybe I'd get it back. So, please ignore if you want, or read it. I'll most likely delete this once I figure out some things. 

My aunt passed away a week ago. 

I held her hand until the end and it's changed me. And no, this isn't one of those motivational speeches I normally do or anything and yes, I'm being honest when I say I feel changed. I look at life a little different. I look at what I'm doing for my future and I've learned to love just a little bit more than I probably should. 

My aunt was my best friend. She knew more about me then my own mother knows. She was the person i'd call whenever I was upset or happy or dying on my bathroom floor. She was my ride or die. Literally my second mom. I miss her so much and i'm trying to be as strong as I can for my parents sake and her husband, but there's a hole in my heart. She used to call me every day at least twice and that went on for over 18 years. Give or take a couple of when I was still in diapers and she'd call my mom and have her put the phone to my ear. At her funeral everyone told me I take after her in so many ways and all I have to say is if I can amount to at least half the woman she was, i'll be doing something right in my life. 

The day after my aunt died, I got a call early in the morning and learned my best friend that's my age and that I've grown up with committed suicide. I had no idea she felt like she did. I swear I've never cried this much EVER. She meant the world to me and i'm lost without her too. My world is crashing down and I just don't really care about anything anymore. I'm definitely not saying i'm going to do anything crazy, but I think I just need a halt in my life. I need something to fill this void because without it, I'm going to become an even more heartless bitch than I am. 

Look, I guess the point in this is if you feel bad to the idea of killing yourself or if you yourself are going through a tough time, please don't hesitate to message me. I'll give you my phone number if you ask. Let's be friends. I just can't see someone else going through this alone. 

I love you. Each and everyone of you. 

Much love -// K.L.