~EDITED
ALEX'S P.O.V.
"You ready?" Rian patted me on the shoulder; he was worried about me. Again. He hadn't shouted at me like the others had when I'd frozen mid-song, when I saw her. They didn't understand that carrying on with that song and not running after her, was one of the hardest things I'ver ever had to do. Rian had known straight away why I'd wanted this UK tour so badly and on such short notice too. It was obvious to him, just not to the others who focused on the impossibility of it. I tried not to adhere to the stereotype associated with lead singers, that they 'call all the shots', but with this tour I just had to be the diva everyone assumed I was.
I'd had an inkling that she'd be in Camden; that's why I made it the first date and made sure our next date was four days away, so we stayed here longer. Pathetic, I know, but I knew I had to see her again. I'd told myself that if I saw her once, no matter how brief it was, I could move on. I never really believed that because I knew that as soon as I saw her, I'd only want to see her again and again. And again.
What I hadn't expected was her to actually turn up at the gig. Why would she come to one of my shows if she wanted to avoid me? That seemed really odd.
Her note was the clue. That was what screamed at me that she just had to be here... I still kept the note in my pocket. I'd pull it out at regular intervals and read it again, in the hope I'd notice different things and get some more clues. I never did.
Alex,
We both knew this was going to happen someday, we never were a practical couple. That's why I have to leave you. Don't come and find me. I'm serious this time. I told myself I wasn't going to cry my way through this note and make you feel guilty like some loser. I can only seem to commit to the latter. So here goes..
I'm just going to say, that you made it impossible for me to stay here anymore. That's why I'm leaving. So, I'll be gone by the time you read this... I'll have started my new life. My new life as a normal university student, not as the rockstars ex-girlfriend. That's how everyone views me here and I just can't live like that anymore.
So I'm going. And I'll be happy, in the place I've always dreamed of living. Living a life that you don't belong in, so don't try to fit in it. Please.
Goodbye Alex.
Connie.x
The last part absolutely killed me every time I read it. She neither wanted nor needed me anymore. But I needed and wanted her more than anything else. I'd always been a selfish person, so I decided to come and find her.
And here I am. Staring at the stage door, trying to find a scrap of courage from somewhere in my body. I nodded to Rian and gave him the most reassuring smile I could manage- he wasn't convinced. However, it had to be good enough because we needed to leave here at some point; it would look weird if we both never came out to greet the huge gathering of fans outside, considering Jack and Zack already were. All I had to think was the sooner I got out of here, the sooner I could go and cry in a hotel pillow like a heartbroken thirteen year old girl. The fact that I had seen her again, only for her to walk out - again - was just something I wasn't handling very well. I could feel my self-destructive side creeping back, and I hated it.
There I went again. Focus Alex, goddamnit.
I took a deep breath, squeezed Rian's hand, pushed open the door and stepped out with a huge grin on my face. Rian shook his head vigorously at me. Too forced and creepy. Okay then; I relaxed my jaw, miserable face it was then!
Paper, books, pens, CD's, shoes, hands, cameras and all sorts was thrusted at me, demanding I sign or take a picture. People wanted a piece of me, a memory to take away with them. Quite rightly so, they deserved one but, I had no pieces of myself left to give that weren't broken. And only bitter memories than lined my brow in pain.
I loved my fans, of course I did, they got us here and were no doubt going to take this band even further. I owed them every little bit of success I had. But today, they asked too much, I just couldn't. Signing as little as I could, without coming across as some arrogant prick, I eventually made my excuses and started to walk towards my car.
Then I saw her. A glimpse of crazy blue hair and bright yellow hi-top Nikes. I knew it was her.
It had to be.
YOU ARE READING
Change Is Yesterday.
FanfictionThere's a long history between Connie and Alex. They met when Alex lived in Essex before he 'took a fated trip across the ocean', and Connie moved to Surrey to be with her new foster family. But distance always takes its toll and this couple were no...
