Beyond Us.

22.

22 .

Lauren

After the funeral was over Ace, Rich, Sky, and I went back to my mom's house for lunch. Ace told me that he had a meeting and left soon after, Rich was sleep in Sky's room, so now it was just Sky and I. "So what happened?" Skylar asked as we lay in my bed.

"He basically told me that the reason he's been avoiding me is because he's marrying Dominique." I told her, "who is Dominique? And when is this happening hasn't he been all under you for like the past month." Sky asked obviously confused. I nodded my head.

"Obviously he hasn't been all under me. But she's the girl he was with at the funeral today. I don't really understand and I don't care to at this point. He got caught up with the street shit, and is looking at jail time, he told me that she was going to testify against him, and this is his only option. I just find it hard to believe, and even harder to wrap my head around it." I said as I rubbed my temples. Trying to ward off all of the negative feelings surrounding this whole discussion.

"Lo, it sounds like he's just doing what he has to do. I mean I can understand why your upset since he didn't tell you before but you can't really blame him." She spoke. I felt myself switch on the inside. I can't believe she would say something like that.

"I can't blame him? So who am I supposed to blame? Should I blame myself for him cheating on me, should I blame myself for not being good enough for him, should I blame myself for holding onto the anger after everything, should I blame myself for thinking that it would be us to walk down the aisle ? is it my fault that we're where we are now?" I got up from the bed, and made my way out of the room before I really lost it, and downstairs to the kitchen, where my mom was.

"I was just about to come get you, you have a visitor outside." My mom told me, then ran upstairs avoiding any further questioning. I peeked out of the window next to the front door, and saw Brooklyn. I sighed and opened the door.

"Why are you here?" I asked him as I shut the door closed behind me. He looked down at me with sadness in his eyes. Almost like he was hurting as bad as I am. Almost. "I'm here for you Lo. I need you I'm trying to make this right. Can we just talk please ma." He asked, I nodded, "not in the house though, whatever you need to say can be said out here." He nodded, "I'll take that, can we at least sit inside the car?" I nodded, and made my way to the passenger side of his BMW.

Once we were both inside there was a pregnant pause. So I broke the silence, "I may not seem like it, but I've tried to forgive you for so many things. But it's like this is it, Amir. I only give you a hard time because I can't go on and pretend like I haven't tried to forgive this. You lied to me, on so many occasions over the simplest, littlest things. How am I supposed to be able to trust you. You say you don't want to hurt me, but now I have to sit here and know she has half of me, what once upon a time I considered the best of me."

"And what makes it worse was your excuse is that you wanted her to be me. After everything that happened between us the part that hurts the most is that you gave your best, your all to her, as if she was worth it. I get it that you may be facing prison, but this all started before any of that came into play. You've been with her for the past two years, with some bitch who will never love you like I do! Will never do the things for you I did! Will never sacrifice the way I did for you! You made another woman yours." I said struggling to contain my tears.

"I get it Lo I do, but I never meant to hurt you. I know you know that. I don't know what to do to make this right. I don't want to, and can't lose you. For the past two weeks I've been trying to figure out what I can do to make all of this go away, but it doesn't seem like I can do anything. I love you with everything in me. If I could take back all the fuck shit I've done to you I would. If I could rewind time before I met her I would. If I could take that look out of your eyes I would. If you let me love you I would." He said as he turned my face towards his, and rubbed some fallen tears.