Broken (a Wesley Stromberg fan fic)

Eighteen

Wesley's POV

I just stared at my phone in disbelief, Skye had finally woken up and all I wanted to do was hear her voice. 'I'll call you' I replied to her text and jumped up to go outside for a bit more privacy. "You're up" Drew commented as I made my way to the front of the bus, "Skye's awake" I blurted out at him and Keaton. They stopped playing XBox and looked up at me grinning, I matched their grins, "So go call your girl" Drew ordered and kicked me towards the door of the bus. I stepped off the bus when the driver pulled to a stop, into the warm summer air, I felt so much lighter now and everything felt so much easier. My phone vibrated in my hand, a sense of joy coursed through me when I saw Skye's name on my phone, I opened her message. 'Don't call. That will just make this harder. My answer is no. I'm not ready', my heart sank as I read the message. I was a mix of emotions, I was grateful she was awake, I was hurt by her rejection, I desperately wanted to see her, I was anxious that this meant she didn't want to be with me. I sat on the ground and leant back on the side of bus, bringing my knees up and folding my arms to rest on them. I laid my head on my arms and reminded myself the important thing was that she was awake.

Everything in me wanted to call her but she had asked me not to and I wasn't about to push it. She had just woken up after a 4 day coma, she needed time and space. My eyes filled with tears as I thought about how if I had just given her those things originally, none of this would have happened. I shook my head and sucked back a deep breath, the only thing Skye needed to be concentrating on was getting better. I unlocked my phone and typed a reply, 'You have no idea how happy I am that you are awake. Don't even think about my proposal, I will wait for you to be ready. You just need to be focussing on getting better. I love you'. I cursed the fact that I had to wait 4 days before I could see her for myself, although the idea of seeing her in the hospital bed again filled me with dread. I got a reply from Skye, 'My recovery is all I can focus on', I silently agreed. 'I can't wait to get home and take care of you' I responded, knowing that I'd feel so much better when I was there to look after her. I knew she probably wouldn't like me saying that, but it was the truth, despite her reluctance to let me sometimes.

*********

'Smash', I tensed at the sound of breaking glass, and Skye's frustrated voice followed closely behind, "Damn it". I raced into the kitchen to find Skye standing in the middle of the room, surrounded by shards of broken glass, liquid and pickles on the floor. "What happened?" I asked, looking around at the mess, "I dropped the jar" Skye huffed. "Yea I got that, but how?" I ignored her sarcasm and bad mood, moving to get some paper towel to soak up the pickle juice. She waved her casted left arm about as if that answered the question, "Why didn't you ask me to do it?" I quizzed her as I bent down to wipe the floor. She sighed, I looked up at her, she was clearly annoyed, "Because you can't do EVERYTHING for me" she complained. "I'm not a child, I'm 18 now. And I should be able to manage with one good arm" she insisted. I stood up and navigated the glass and pickles to stand in front of her. "Skye, you break glass jars with two good arms. What made you think you wouldn't with only one?" I joked and winked at her. She punched my shoulder with her right hand, "Wesley, don't joke. I'm useless" she whined and I knew needing someone to help her wasn't something Skye was comfortable with.

I grinned at her, "I can think of some uses" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively, trying to distract her from her pity party. She giggled, which was ultimately my goal, "Well I do need a shower now" she smirked, gesturing to the pickle juice that was splattered on her legs. I looked down, noting that her Vans were soaked, "Your Vans are going to smell like pickles for weeks" I laughed. Skye groaned and I was struck with a thought, "They'll need washing too" I told her and grabbed the plastic wrap and tape from the drawer. I quickly wrapped up her cast, I had become somewhat of an expert at it, and chucked the stuff back in the drawer. I scooped Skye up and threw her over my shoulder, something I knew she hated but she only had one good arm to punch me with as she fought against me. I raced up the stairs to the bathroom, turning on the shower and kicking off my shoes. "WESLEY" Skye screamed, "What are you doing? You better not be thinking of putting me in there fully...." but before she could finish her threat I stepped into the shower. Skye squealed as her clothes got soaked, I lowered her to the ground and waited for her get pissed at me.

To my surprise she just clung to me, resting her head and hands on my chest, so I wrapped my arms around her shoulders. I rested my chin on top of her head and we just stood there for a minute until she finally spoke. "Thank you" she whispered, and I was sure I must be hearing things, I had just thrown her into the shower fully clothed. She looked up at me, a few drops of water running down her face, her big blue eyes rendering me speechless. "For putting up with my shitty moods lately" she explained, "Luckily for you I get the cast off tomorrow and you can stop taking care of me". My heart sank, I didn't want to stop taking care of her, and it had only been these last few days, since we got home from San Diego, that she had really started to get annoyed at the cast. I bent down to whisper in her ear, "I like taking care of you" I admitted, running my hands down her back and slipping them into the back pockets of her denim shorts. "You like showering with me" she scoffed, not wanting to believe me. I removed a hand from her pocket, and held her face, running my thumb across her cheek. I held her gaze for a few seconds, trying to convey the seriousness of my next statement, "No, I like that you need me for a change" I stated quietly. She responded straight away, which shocked me, "I always need you", her answer shocking me even more.

**********

My phone beeped again, diverting my attention back to the side of the road where I sat leaning against our tour bus. 'You misunderstand me. I need to focus on my recovery, so I don't think now is the time for a relationship. I don't want you to come see me or call me when you get home. It's for the best, I will be better off without you'. I stared at Skye's text until it became blurred by the tears welling in my eyes. Surely she couldn't be serious, I needed her and she definitely needed me right now. I ran the back of hand across my eyes, 'Skye, please don't do this. You need me right now, I know you do. I love you', I sent my message. I felt so powerless, if Skye wanted to break up because she thought it was best, I wasn't going to argue it any further, her recovery was all I cared about. Pain sliced through me, knowing I needed to be there for her, even if she thought she didn't need me. I loved her and the idea that she didn't love me anymore or didn't want to be with me for whatever reason, was devastating. I was scared to read her text when it came through on my phone, I reluctantly unlocked my phone and opened it. 'I wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for you so don't tell me I need you. It's best for me if you leave me alone', I couldn't breathe. My hand flew to my chest as it tightened, my heart broke and I thought I might die from the physical pain.

I couldn't even form thoughts, I was so overwhelmed and consumed with heart ache. Eventually my inner voice began to point out that Skye was right, it was my fault she was in hospital and she was justified not to want to see me anymore. I let the guilt seep in, followed by regret and remorse and I knew that I had to let her go. There was no point trying to get her back, I loved her too much to cause her anymore pain or prolong this any longer than needed. My fingers shook as I began to type, 'I regret pushing you for an answer to my proposal. I shouldn't have even proposed. I am sorry, you can't even begin to understand how much. I accept that this is for the best'. I hit send and that was it, I got up and walked mindlessly back onto the bus, Drew and Keaton pausing their game to check in with me. "So how is she?" Keaton asked, "She's fine I guess. We broke up" I told them flatly. "I'm gonna go back to sleep" I mumbled, before climbing into my bunk and shutting my eyes tightly. I couldn't feel the pain anymore, I couldn't feel anything, I was numb, I was completely hollow.