Broken (a Wesley Stromberg fan fic)

Twelve

Wesley's POV

"You two are ridiculous", Skye's voice trailed off as she stormed up the stairs, leaving me and her mom in the living room surrounded by wedding stuff. Phoebe laughed at her daughter's outburst as she folded table cloths, "I love that kid, but lord knows she gets too stuck in her own mind" she admitted with a grin. I smiled, knowing what her mom was saying was true, Skye thought so much about everything, too much and I knew that was what she was doing now. "Has she always been that way?" I asked her mom, hoping to gain some insight into how Skye was the way she was when he mom was so open minded and always spoke her thoughts. Phoebe sighed, "Ever since her dad left us" her tone was sombre, "She over thinks everything, it's like she thinks everyone is going to leave and she's figuring out how not to get hurt again". My heart broke as her mom continued, "You can't tell her that though, she insists that her dad leaving has nothing to do with how she is". She went on, this time is a much more upbeat manner, "It's a shame too, she never puts herself out there, she just keeps to herself and she shouldn't. She's one hell of a kid" her mom sounded proud. I couldn't agree more, Skye was amazing but it was true, I had barely even noticed Skye at school until last year. "That's why I'm thrilled she has you" her mom added, making me blush, but it gave me a warm feeling knowing her mom approved of me.

I sat there for a little while thinking about Skye and how she was, she had gotten better with speaking her mind but she had slipped back into that pattern today. I know I had shocked her and knowing what her mom had just told me, I didn't want to push her but I had to make her see that I wasn't going to hurt her. I wasn't going to leave her, and the memory of her asking me not to leave earlier flashed through my mind. She was crying on the bed and I had planned to leave, I felt like such an asshole, knowing how much it must have taken for her to ask me not to. I hadn't really given any thought to why Skye hadn't had a boyfriend before me, I always just assumed she was too focused on school work. I knew this to be true but from what her mom was saying, it seemed like there was more to it. Now more than ever I wanted to marry her, keep her from being hurt again, protect her forever. I couldn't shake the guilt of almost leaving her today, I never thought I'd say this but it was actually lucky that Lincoln stopped by. My knuckles were sore from punching him in the face, the last time they were sore like this was when Skye and I were fighting after she saw the on line clip of me leaving XFactor with one of the dancers. My stomach dropped when I remembered the fight, it was the worst one we ever had and everything made so much more sense now. At the time I had kind of thought she was overreacting and I was annoyed by how little she trusted me.

**********

"Skye, your not listening to me. She's just a FRIEND" I yelled down the phone at her, completely aggravated that she still wouldn't accept that we were just friends. We had been going back and forth for at least 10 minutes and I had lost my cool a few minutes into the conversation. How did Skye not know that I loved her and would never cheat on her. I know the video looked suspect but all I could do was apologise if she got the wrong idea and swear nothing happened but she just wouldn't let it go. She went silent on the phone, this wasn't a good sign, she rarely did this anymore, stopped talking because she was too busy thinking. Her voice was sad when she started to speak again, "That's not how it looked, it just hurt to see". I let out the breath I had unknowingly been holding, "I'm sorry it looked shady but you have to trust me" I urged her. "It looked like you had moved on without telling me" her voice almost a whisper, angering me that she still wasn't getting my point. "NOTHING HAPPENED" I screamed, "Regardless, it's bound to happen" she responded softly. I couldn't believe she was implying that I was bound to cheat on her, I began to shake in rage, "You think I'd do that? Cheat on you?" I was talking in short rushed sentences in between deep breaths. "God damn it Skye. You don't trust me?" I demanded, beneath all the anger was hurt, I was so cut by the fact she didn't trust me.

She exhaled loudly, "No, I don't think you would cheat but...." she trailed off. "Well clearly you think something" I spat knowing she was over thinking this whole thing, she just needed to believe me. "Wesley" she started, her voice soft and withdrawn, "I know you wouldn't intentionally hurt me, but sometimes things happen" she paused. "Things" I scoffed, not completely understanding what she meant, "Yes things, and maybe nothing happened with the dancer but eventually something is bound to come between us and you'll leave" her voice was shaking. I was overcome, "What do you mean 'maybe nothing happened with the dancer', I am telling you straight, nothing happened". "I don't think you really understand where I am coming from here Wesley" Skye explained to me, "I thought I'd lost you and..". I cut her off, "You thought I was screwing around behind your back", I was so annoyed that she would even think that of me in the first place, even with the video and how it looked, she should have trusted me enough. Skye's tone changed to one of anger herself, "Whatever Wesley. I gotta go" and with that she hung up.

I was so infuriated, I had apologised for the way the clip looked and sworn nothing happened and she was still acting like it was a big deal. I was overcome with a fresh wave of rage and suddenly my fist was flying into the wall. I pulled my hand instinctively to my chest and waited for the pain to set in, which it inevitably did. My knuckles were  swollen and bleeding but the hole in the wall made me feel slightly better. A few minutes later, after pacing and deep breathing and going between anger and regret I picked up my phone and dialled Skye's number. I waited for her to answer but it went to voicemail, I dialled again and after a few rings it went to voicemail. I panicked, she was avoiding my calls and the realisation that I couldn't lose her over this set in. I dialled again and this time it went straight to voicemail. I felt sick and a lump rose in my throat, no argument was worth losing her over, no matter how annoyed I was still desperately in love with her. I hung up each time before leaving a message, knowing I wouldn't say the right thing, cursing myself for getting so mad with her on the phone. I was still hurt that she didn't trust me when I said nothing happened but the video had looked bad and we hadn't seen each other as much lately. I had to fix this, I had to prove to her nothing happened and nothing like that ever would happen.

**********

"You staying for dinner Wes?", Pheobe's question brought me back to the living room, and my guilt came along with me. "Ummmm, yea, thanks" I stammered, still completely blindsided by the new light shed on our fight before Christmas. Skye's mom disappeared out of the living room, leaving me sitting on the couch dumbfounded. That whole fight had been about Skye worried I had left her, not cheated on her. How had I missed that at the time, I questioned myself, but I knew how, I had been so angry thinking she didn't trust me. My heart ached, knowing she had seen that clip and thought I had bailed on her, essentially she watched, along with thousands of other people, her worst fear come true. I wondered if she was always thinking that eventually something would come between us, eventually I'd leave her and she was always preparing for it. The idea she could think that killed me, because I knew I couldn't ever love anything more than I loved her. My mind scanned back over our relationship, her reluctance to get together, her quick adjustment when we broke up, her never telling me how she felt or what she wanted at first. And then there was her reaction to the on line video, her breaking up with me and then her not wanting to get back together at Spring Break.

It all suggested that she was constantly worried about protecting herself, I sprang up from the couch, needing to see her. Needing to explain that I understood what she was afraid of but that she didn't need to protect herself, that's what I wanted to do, protect her from everything. I took the steps up to her room two at a time, flinging open her door when I reached the top. I scanned her room, she wasn't in there so I headed to the bathroom, knocking on the closed door but there was no answer. "Skye" I called out and waited for a response but got none, a slow panic setting in when I couldn't find her. I ran back to her room, hoping she would magically be in there now, but she wasn't. Her bed had been made and her room was tidier and her window was open now. 'Her window' my inner voice screamed and I dashed over to look out of it. Surely she couldn't have climbed out her window, it was childish for one and it was fairly high up for another. I bolted back downstairs and out the front door, sure enough, her bike was gone and I had no idea what she was thinking.