She (An Ed Sheeran fanfic)

One Night - Chapter 12

Hi guys! I'm glad I'm back to writing again yay! So I'm here to warn you. This is a very dark and emotional chapter. There's a few parts that may be triggering to those struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression. I really don't want to make anyone upset so yeah. Bare my warning! Alright go on to read hope you like it :)

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Chapter 12

Its all torn apart.

I ruined everything.It can never be fixed.

How could I possibly live anymore?

Its an autumn night.

Freezing.

I was still wearing his hoodie.

I looked down and tangled my fingers in the strings.

My eyes welled up with tears and i yelled out in frustration.

The streets are empty, only the pavement and street lights to accompany me.

I don't know where I'm going.

Some where far so I wouldn't be around to disappoint the people I love anymore.

Some where quiet and dark.

That's what I need.

I have my rucksack with a blanket and pillow I guess I would just have to settle for the usual alley way.

I sit with my back up against the wall of the building his blanket wrapped around me, shivering.

((*Warning, very triggering content*))

I wish I could just die.

I don't deserve to live anymore.

I unzipped my rucksack and pulled out my knife.

I pulled the knife to my neck slowly, sobbing violently.

I applied a bit of pressure then quickly pulled away, scared of what I was about to do.

I brought it to my wrists instead, remembering hearing of people doing this, I never thought I would.

I cut straight lines up my arms pulling in sharp breaths with every cut.

Blood was falling down my arms, yet I felt a slight sense of relief..

I grabbed a cloth from my bag and wrapped it around my wrist.

I cried silently to myself throughout the night.

*~* *~*

*2 weeks before*

"Ed, I'm not ready for this. She would be so much better off with a mother that knows what she's doing."

"We can't just give her up Amy! I want her to be ours."

"We don't have any money! I want my daughter to be happy and safe."

"She'll be perfectly happy in our arms where she should be."

"You know what? I'm done. I can't handle this right now."

"Amy-"

I left our little shack to my old neighborhood.

I was wondering around, feeling fired up and reckless.

I saw a my ex boyfriends house from secondary school with lights and sounds of laughter and loud music.

A party just what I could use.

I walked in and saw James.

The second we made eye contact he hurried over to me with his bottle of vodka.

He shoved the bottle in between my lips making me swallow.

This is a mistake.

I try to gag myself, get it out of my system.

I turn around ready to leave when he grabbed my wrist.

"I missed you. Stay. Just for tonight."

He gave me no choice and dragged me by my wrist.

"Let me go you fucking twat!"

"Want to put up a fight eh? I don't mind a bit of a challenge."

He pulled me into a room and shut the door.

He grabbed my waist and looked me up and down.

"Gained some weight now didn't you? That's okay. Not anything I can't handle."

He grabbed my breasts with his dirty hands.

"I'm pregnant you idiot! Don't fucking touch me!"

"Does it look like I care to you?"

He grabbed my ass and spun me around grinding against me.

"Stop."

"No."

I found his arm and bit down as hard as I could tasting blood.

He yelled.

James smashed the bottle of vodka against a nearby dresser and held the sharp end against my neck.

"You will do what I say without struggle or I will kill you."

I nodded.

He pushed me down on the bed and walked towards the dresser.

He opened it and took out a ziploc bag full of green herbs.

Marijuana.

He rolled a joint and lit it shoving it in my mouth.

"Inhale."

He commanded his bottle up against my neck.

I did as he said not knowing what else to do.

I felt my body relax.

Everything was blurry but someone was carrying me.

It was cold.

I heard sirens and saw blurry flashing lights.

Then darkness.

I woke up in a hospital bed.

"Amy"

Ed said urgently.

The doctor walked up to me, sadness in his eyes.

"You have lost your baby girl. There's has been a miscarriage caused by illegal substance abuse. We need to ask you some questions"

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Wow! such an exciting chapter ahh.

Holy fucking hell thanks for all the reads its crazy! I hope you're enjoying it :) ily all so much okay? byee