Strong Yet Scared

Chapter 21

I finally get home, well not home yet, it is still bare. It's been eight days since the fire and we have had millions of workers cleaning up the old house and repairing everything, today they are getting all their supplies out of the house.

I walk in, carrying all my bags. Harold is on the couch and I run over, jumping on top of him. I hug him tight and he laughs, "What is this for?"

"Do you not see the heaping pile of shopping bags?" I laugh.

"I do." He grins, "I also see you've got your tongue pierced."

I stick my tongue out, "Does it look cool?"

He laughs, "It does. Your mom is taking a bubble bath."

My smile disappears, "She is going to be mad about the tongue ring..."

"I've taken care of it, sweetheart." He looks at the tv, "She understands your going to make your own decisions. We trust you. A tongue ring is not going to change you in anyway, besides your appearence."

I smile, "You're the best. Thank you for all the things you let me buy."

"Don't worry about it, I have all this money and nobody to spend it on. I love spoiling you and your mother." Harold rubs his chin.

"Oh god, you gave my mother money to spend?" I put my hand on my forehead. "instant mistake."

"Hey, where do you think you get it from?" He teases.

"Hey!!" I laugh and stand up, "You're rude."

He laughs, I'm starting to grow on his laugh. It's deep and raspy, and his face even fills up with smile lines when he does it.

I walk to the kitchen and look for food to make everyone, "What is she buying?"

I pull out a bag of potatoes and put a pot full of water on the stove to boil.

"She is decorating the house, expect for your room. You get to do that, oh and I wanted to let you know nothing in your room was burned." Harold informs me and my face is filled with joy. I am so glad my art things are okay.

"Yeahhhh, I'm going to donate my old clothes to old navy or something." I tell him, peeling the potatoes. "How does mashed potatoes, chicken and green beans sound?"

"Mm. Sounds great." He smile a warm smile at me and I smile back, meaning it.

•••••••

I roll over in my bed and look at the alarm clock- 12:03. I stayed up late last night, painting. Half of my one wall is painted. I painted it sky blue, with white puffy clouds. A dark full moon is painted on the right side and a bright sun is painted on the left side. I'm not finished just yet though.

I stand up and go into my bathroom, to take a long hot shower. My burns don't hurt at all, I peal away all the skin falling off, very gross but surprisingly comforting. When I pull off the skin, the skin underneath is clear skin, no scarring or blood. It also surprises me that my tongue still isn't swelled and still doesn't hurt.

I blow dry my hair, brush my teeth and wash my tongue ring with mouthwash. Then I decide to experiment with the makeup I bought. I grab the eyeliner and do my top lid the way I saw Kendall doing it. It looks good, but not without stabbing myself in the eye twice. It takes me ten minutes to make both eyes match.

"Not to shabby." I encourage myself, I play some music off of my phone and sing to it.

"Ah, nah, honey I'm good, I could have another but I probably shouldn't-" I sing, dancing around my bathroom. I hear Harold laughing and I keep dancing, he walks into the bathroom with a plate of pancakes and a fork. He sets it on the counter and walks out of the bathroom, smiling.

"I might not -thank you!- leave alone!" I sing, taking a huge bite of the pancakes. I hear him laugh and close my door. It feels weird to eat with the tongue ring. I'm afraid I'm going to bite it, but I haven't yet.

I go and look in my bags, finding a white lace crop top and white lace shorts that go with it. The crop top covers my whole chest, and ties by my neck, it shows my upper back. The shorts are high waisted, so only a thin line shows my stomach. I feel comfortable in this. I slide my pair of black sandles. I paint my toes and fingernails, just because I'm bored. My phone rings as my hands are drying.

"Hello?" I answer, blowing on my bright pink nails.

"Hey, girly, wanna go out?" Kendall talks into the phone. She talks a little weird, I'm guessing because of her tongue ring.

"Hell yeah. Where to?" I ask, tapping my nails to make sure they are dry.

"There is a fair going on down the road, Seth is taking me." I can already see her grinning.

"Sure, mind if I bright somebody?" I ask, putting my makeup and nail polish away.

"Not at all, I'll be at your house in five minutes." She says and hangs up the phone.

"Thanks, goodbye to you, too." I speak to myself. I find my bright pink fingers tapping Josh's phone number into my phone, and I hear it ring.

"Hello?" His deep voice answers, "Who's this?"

"Your secret admirer." I smirk, grabbing my keys and walking downstairs. "Meet me outside in five minutes."

I grab a granola bar and sit on a stool by my mother. "Hi, mom."

"Hi, baby doll." She turns around to see me in a romper. She bites the inside of her cheek, "You look pretty."

I smile, "Thanks, mama. Mind if I got to the fair with a few friends?"

"No, go ahead." She continues to dry the already dry plate. I can see she is tense.

"Mom?" I ask before I stand up.

"Mh?" She slides the plate into the counter and her dark brown eyes look over at me.

"You can say what your thinking. I can take it." I take a bite out of the breakfast bar and slide the wrapper into the garbage.

She looks down at the dishes she is drying as bites her cheek. "I'm just not used to this side of you yet."

"This is the real me." I tell her and slide my phone into my pocket.

"I know, baby. I like it, I'm just worried is all." She slides the dry plates into the cabinet.

"About what?" I ask, finishing off my breakfast.

"I just hope you can take care of yourself while looking like that." She says grimly and my anger flares up.

"I'm basically 18, mom. I'm mature for my age already and you know this. Stop trying to make me feel bad. I'm not like you, I want to do things I've never done before and have fun with my life." I pause, "Think about your life. You've had my brother and me then married six- wait, no, seven men. I don't want to live like that, I want to live the only life I had the way I want to without being judged. Can we please do that?"

"Alright, I was just saying is all." She folds her drying towel neatly and seats it in the towel drawer.

"What?" I cry out, "What are you trying to say? Just tell me what I can do to make you happy."

"Just make yourself happy." She walks into the living room with Harold.

"Done, we're there." I say and stomp out the door.

"Took you long enough." Kendall says. Seth leans against the car with his arm around Kendall.

Josh walks over, wearing a plain white shirt with a leather jacket over it and dark jeans. I mentally chant for him to take off the jacket so I can see his tattoos.

"What's got you in a bad mood?" Kendall asks and I groan.

"Just my mother." I jump into my convertible and start the engine.

"I thought we would all just take Seth's car." Kendall interjects and I shake my head and motion for Josh to get in with me.

"I need to blow off some steam." I say and rev up my engine. Kendall presses her lips together and then grins. Seth and Kendall jump into Seth's truck and we are off to the fair.