After the Avengers (Clintasha) [Complete]

Chapter 23

23
Clint POV

And the award for the biggest asshole on the planet goes to me.

Who leaves their pregnant wife sitting on the floor of the bathroom?

Only me.

I always, always wanted kids. I knew I left that life when I joined SHIELD, but I always hoped maybe someday, somehow, I'd have my chance.

When I met Katie, I thought it was my one and only chance at being a father.

Nat and I talked about adopting, but with a teenage daughter, it didn't feel right to me, but she was pregnant.

This is what she's been hiding from me. This is why she's been acting so goddam funny around me. Why she hasn't been on mission.

It all makes sense now.

I should've talked to her this morning after she told me, but I was in so much shock, so numb that I walked away. She couldn't know how much I cared and wanted this based off of my outrageous reaction.

When we danced, I saw it as my chance to poor out all of my emotions onto the floor. I wasn't a good dancer like Nat, but I could keep up.

When she grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the elevator, I had either got it spot on or epically messed up.

As soon as the doors shut, she pressed me up against the wall and kissed me. I don't know where it came from, but I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her back. I missed her.

I think I did something right.

She pulled me into our apartment. She turned to face me and blushed, "I don't know what came over me. I'm mad at you."

I smile. Even when I've epically messed up - and I have done that many, many times before - Nat can't stay mad at me. I'd like to think it's because of my irresistible charm, but I know she loves me.

I'd also bet that now that she's pregnant, hormones and emotions are running high. She probably has no idea what to feel.

"I'm really sorry," I say. She looks up at me through half-lidded eyes, an almost innocent look if I didn't know her. There is so much behind that look. She has seduced countless men and women with that single look, yet she saves it for me these days.

"Why did you leave?" She asks. I can tell I really hurt her and I sigh, running my hand through my hair. I never meant to do this to her.

"I was shocked," I admit. She continues to look at me for an explanation and I continue, "I never thought I'd be a dad. I messed up so badly with Katie and now that I have another one..."

Her eyes soften and she steps towards me. She wraps an arm protectively around me and says, "You're scared to mess it up."

"Like you wouldn't believe."

"Clint, you didn't mess up with Katie," she whispers in my ear. "Hell, you didn't even know she was alive until a couple weeks ago. There was no way you could have been there for her. If anyone is to blame, it's her mom."

"I'm not going to blame Ellie," I say, shaking Natasha off. "She suffered through her life, she was forced to become a goddam assassin, Natasha!" My voice raises louder and louder. I don't know why I'm taking this out of her, but this can't be kept inside much longer. "She's just a kid, my kid."

"I know that, but you can't blame everything on yourself," she tells me. "You can only be here for her now. You can chose to be the best father you can be now or you can turn your back on her. It's your choice. But you also have to remember you have another kid, our kid."

When I look over at Nat, she has one hand hovering over her stomach, over our baby. Our baby. Wow!

I always thought she was infertile, she always thought she was infertile. I guess not.

"How is this possible?" I ask, stepping forward, my hand hovering over her belly. I don't know why I feel like I have to ask permission to touch my wife, but after this morning...I probably shouldn't cross any more lines.

She nods and I place my hand over her stomach, a smile forming on my face. She says, "I honestly have no idea. I had Pepper buy me a test, but I haven't actually been to a doctor yet."

"How far along are you?" I ask.

"About nine weeks," she says, her hand coming to rest on mine. My smile widens.

"How are you handling this?" I ask. I know Natasha has a sore spot when it comes to kids. She never had much of a childhood, and she feels like they can see all that she has done just by looking at her. She cannot be taking this well.

"I was really freaked out when I first took the test," she admits. "You were on mission, but Maria and Pepper calmed me down. I was ready to get rid of it, but you know what? I'm okay with it now. I know this is something you want, and I may not like a lot of it, but I think I can come to love it. I may suck at being a mom, but it's all in learning."

I learn forward a place a kiss on her lips. My lips brushing against hers, I whisper, "It's just my opinion and you don't have to listen to me, but I think you'll be a great mom."

She smiles and initiates another amazing kiss. I pull her towards me as the kiss becomes more heated.

We pull away after a few seconds laughing slightly. Our foreheads resting against each other.

"We're going to be parents," she whispers.

"I can't wait to be a dad," I agree.

"You two are so full of crap," a voice says from the elevator.

Ok, so here's the deal. I know where this is going, I'm trying to write as often as I can, but I have a lot going on. Hopefully I will have more time to sit down and write, but things may get busier depending on the next week or so. I'm sorry for the wait, but this has been taking a bit of a back burner lately.
Again, if you guys have names, let me know. That's the only thing I don't know right now.
I hope you're enjoy this, thanks for reading