Comforter

Work Things Out

The guys went out for a drink at the local bar and asked if I wanted to join them. I declined the offer and chose to sit in my room and watch TV. I was too tired anyway and I thought it might be awkward with all four of us. I wondered if Billie was telling them anything about our situation... Would he do that? I didn't think he would speak about me behind my back but my mind was racing... what if he tells them that I broke his heart and they take his side? What if they hate me? What if they never speak to me again???

I physically shook the thoughts out of my head and focused on the television screen.

Maybe I should have gone with them...

No, if I'd got drunk I would have ended up saying something I'd regret. It's better that I didn't go.

It was around 1 o'clock when I heard them stumble back to their rooms and it wasn't long before there was a knock on my door. I got up and opened it, seeing Mike standing in the doorway.
"Hey, man. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not judging you for anything, but I want to make sure you know what you're doing with Bill. He's a sensitive guy, you know, and you can't be messing with his feelings like that."

I felt angry that Billie had given them his side of the story, and even more so that they had taken his side.
"It's not like that!" I snapped, "you don't know anything about it, I didn't mean for any of this to happen!"

Billie wandered down the corridor then and frowned at me. "Don't you think I know that by now?"

"Billie, I'm sorry, I wasn't talking to you, I-"

He went in his room and slammed the door.
I groaned and looked back to Mike. "I didn't know how he felt, I just thought... I don't know, it was a bit of fun and it's just got way out of control. It's just... complicated"

"For both of you."

"Well yeah, I know that."

"Do you? Because somehow I think this is a lot worse for him, yet you're still acting like it's you that has it bad."

I looked down. "I know what he's going through, but-"

"Do you? From what he's told me he's loved you for a fucking long time, and you're not even giving him the time of day. He said he's lost you completely and doesn't even think he can look at you anymore."

"He really thinks that?" I tilted my head at him. It pained me to know how he felt. I was his friend and now he can't even look at me? There must be something I could do to fix this...

Mike sighed, "I'm sorry, Tré, but I don't know what you're gonna do. He's a mess..." he patted me on the shoulder, "I'm gonna go to bed, I'll see ya in the morning... you might want to go and check on him, try and sort things out."

"Don't you think I've tried that?"

He smiled sadly at me and then left.
Shit.

I rapped my knuckled lightly on Billie's door and he took his time before answering. "Can I help you with something?"

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I thought we could have a few beers and watch a movie or something."

"I've had enough to drink tonight, I'm going to bed now."

I felt ill. I couldn't live like this, I needed him to be there for me, I couldn't just stand there and let my best friend become distant. I loved him... I couldn't just watch him walk away. I grabbed his head and pulled him towards me before kissing him softly on the lips. His eyes were wide and he quickly pushed me away.

"What the hell are you doing?" He shouted and I looked around the corridor to make sure no one was around.

"I'm sorry, I just can't let this happen. I don't want to lose you, I can't... so if being with you like this is the only way that we'll be together at all, then I'll do it for you."

He looked uneasily at me and scratched his neck. "I... don't know what to say."

"Say you'll talk to me again, we can go back to how we were. Please?"