Comforter

Confrontation

I woke early the next morning to make sure that Billie didn't leave before I got up. He didn't leave the room until 10:30am and I jogged after him.

"I don't want to talk. Let's just get through practice without killing each other, okay?" He sighed when I caught up to him.

"Kill each other? Bill, I hope you don't think I hate you or something? I want to talk all this over, I need to get a few things straight-"

"-we already have. I want you but you don't want me, I know that. Now please just let me walk in peace." He strode away and left me to wander behind him. We didn't speak for the rest of the walk.

When we finally got to the studio Mike and Jason eyed us both warily. They were my friends but I could sense them judging us even though they didn't fully understand the situation. Billie was quiet and didn't acknowledge them at all, picked up his guitar and stood near the microphone. I nodded at them as I walked past them to my drums and they smiled back, but I could tell they were both wondering what was going on.

We played through 5 songs without speaking to one another and then stopped for a drink. Mike swigged at a can of Coke that had been set on one of the speakers and Billie sipped at a bottle of water. Mike and Jason muttered to each other while we had a break and I walked over to Billie.

"Please can we talk? I really need to-"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not talking about it anymore, I've made my feelings clear and I'm not gonna humiliate myself any further."

"But-"

"No, Tré!" He shouted, making me jump and drawing the other band members' attention. The singer eyed them quickly before returning his gaze to the bottle of water. He drank from it once more, set it down and then picked up his guitar. "From 'Minority'." He said to us all and I sat back behind the drums. Jason kept looking at me and I saw Mike's head turn a few times too. Billie, however, focused on playing and kept his head down. He didn't look at any of us for the rest of the session.

Mike and Jason left earlier than usual and beckoned for me to follow. I shook my head in refusal and watched them go. I had to speak to Billie.
"Hey, I know you're pissed but I do really need to talk to you."

"Tré" he sighed but I silenced him.

"Just hear me out, okay? I don't want an argument, I don't want you to get upset, I just want to talk this over. I want to try and make this work in a way that it's not gonna be like this every time we see each other. I wanted to talk to you about it because I want things to be how they were."

"Then just... be with me..." Billie looked at me with sad eyes, his emotions ignoring his brain and overpowering his words.

"Bill, I..."

"I know." He looked at the floor. "Let's just forget it then."

"I don't want to forget it, I just want to move forward from it."

He rolled his eyes, "yeah."

"Are we going to be able to do that?" I hesitantly asked, worried about what the answer might be.

He dropped his head to the side and looked at me. "Yeah, Tré."

"Good, because I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have you as my mate, Billie."

He smiled hollowly before squeezing past me and out the door. I watched him leave and felt my heart sink. As much as I hate to admit it... I would love to be with Billie... if I didn't have my girlfriend and kids then who knows... there was no one else on earth that I was more comfortable with than him, and we shared so much in common too... I loved Billie, but what was the point in telling him that? I just had to push past it and try not to think too much about my own feelings...