Comforter

Apologies

I was woken by Billie around 7am the next morning and he was prodding my face. "What" I groaned, swiping at the finger on my cheek.

"Morning, snorer." He chuckled and I put my head under my pillow. "Just thought I should wake you up in case Mike comes along and finds you in here."
I remembered the night's events and my stomach lurched. Shit! I sat up and went to make my way back to my own room when Billie called me back. "Hey!" He pouted, "don't I at least get a kiss?"

I rushed back and pecked him on the lips. "If he sees me in here, I'm dead"

"Don't worry about it, Mike won't be up for at least another hour. We still have a little time..." he patted a spot on the matress next to him.

"Sorry, I think I'm just gonna go take a shower and try and get on with my life." I hadn't meant to say it the way it had come out, but the look of hurt on Billie's face was clear. I couldn't make it any better so I gave him a look of apology before walking out of the room.

The shower was warm and comforting and I let my head fall to face plughole where the water was spiraling away. I knew I shouldn't have said that to him, but I panicked... I just wanted to try and get back to normal and forget the guilt that was eating away at my insides. What would my wife say...? I shook my head, dismissing the thought as best as I could.

Later that day Mike found me outside the hotel. He was smiling warmly at me and drinking a can of coke.
"Hey, Tré, where were you last night?"

"Where was I? What do you mean? I was in my room." I swallowed, beginning to worry that he might find out about me and Billie.

He shrugged, I didn't think I saw you in there, that's all... maybe you were in the toilet or something."

"Probably." I played along, glad that he had talked himself out of it rather than me having to come up with a story. He didn't question me any further on it and we went and got lunch from a nearby cafe.

I saw Billie later that day; he was sitting in the lounge with his guitar and strumming quietly. I approached him cautiously but he didn't even look at me.
"Hey." I spoke first to see where I stood.

"Hi." He replied in a flat tone, not taking his eyes away from the guitar.

"Listen, I didn't mean what I said earlier... I didn't mean it like that, I just panicked that's all." I shuffled my feet nervously and he stood up.

"Can we talk? Like in my room or something?"

"Of course." I tried to sound confident but my voice was shaking a little.

He walked briskly to his hotel room while I trailed behind, mind racing and heart pounding. I hoped that I hadn't upset him too much... He was my best friend-how could I be in the band with him if we fell out? I couldn't take not talking to him all the time.

When we had both entered the room and the door was shut, he sighed and I started to blurt out an apology which he waved away with his hand.
"I'm not here to have a go at you, I actually wanted to apologise. I know what we had said in the past and last night was completely out of order. I shouldn't have asked you to do it and I'm sorry. I was upset and sometimes I... just, never mind, all that matters is that it shouldn't have happened. Are we okay?" He looked terrified and I realised that he was equally as scared of falling out with me as I was!

"Of course, it wasn't just your fault, Billie... I could have stopped you at any time."

He nodded, looking a little relieved, but there was still worry on his face.

"Are you okay, Bill?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You seem worried, and lately you've been... distant... its like you're not even here half the time. What's wrong?"

He let out an uneven breath and looked away from me. "I don't know."

"Well you know where I am. I'll always be here for you, you know that. You're my best friend, Billie, anything you have to say, I'll always understand." I offered a reassuring smile before turning to leave the room.

"...I love you..."