Comforter

Voicemail

I couldn't face Billie again until all of this was out of the way. I decided it was easier for both of us to do this over the phone and called him. It went straight to voice mail and I took a deep breath.
"Hey, Bill. I'm kinda glad you didn't pick up... maybe it's better this way. I... I don't really know how to say this but being together is wrong... I didn't know how you felt before and I thought it was just a bit of fun, and if I'd realised then I never would have led you on... I didn't mean for it to be like this, I... I'm sorry, it's just not fair on either of us or our families... I..." I sighed and hung up. I thought it would be best if I kept quiet about my feelings towards him in case he thought there was hope. I did like him, but I couldn't go through with it. I just hoped that he wouldn't take this badly and we could still face each other tomorrow.

It was only 10 o'clock, nowhere near when I'd usually go to bed, but I felt drained and sleep would be a welcome break. I slipped out of my clothes and under the duvet of my hotel bed before drifting off into a restless sleep.

I went for band practice in the morning at about 11 and Mike was looking glum.
"What's up Mikey boy?" I asked casually as I got closer to him.

"I dunno, it's Billie... somethings up with him." He frowned, concern written all over his face.

"Oh. I think that might be my-" I was cut off by the door swinging open and Billie stepping into the room.

He glared at me and his lip curled into a snarl. "How dare you!"
Mike looked shocked and his icy blue eyes flicked to me. I glanced back at him before meeting Billie's angry stare once more. "After everything I said to you and you left me a fucking voice mail! Who the fuck do you think I am?!"

It was clear that he was too upset to care that Mike and Jason were in the room and I looked around for somewhere more private to talk. "Billie, let's go to the hotel and sort this out or something."

"No! Let's sort it out here! What's wrong with this place? Or are you embarrassed of me?"

"I'm not embarrassed of you, I just don't think that they" I gestured at the other two band members "need to hear this."

"Why not? Don't you think it's in their best interests to know what their friends get up to? Or don't you want them to know that we fucked?"

Mike and Jason looked at us both, wide eyed and mouths agape. I let my head fall a little before quickly scanning their faces.

"Uh, I think maybe we should go." Jason said to Mike, shifting uncomfortably on the spot.

"Yeah, we'll leave you to it." Mike agreed and they both left the room quickly.

I moaned, "are you fucking happy now?"

"No! I'm not happy, what makes you think I'd be happy? I was straight with you and told you everything face to face, and I don't even get the decency of a phone call? What the hell is that about?"

"I'm sorry, I was going to call you and it went to answerphone and I just... I thought it'd be easier, you know? Having to explain that in person... how would you have reacted? Would you have wanted me to see you like that?"

His face was screwed up and the tears were brimming in his eyes. "It would have been better than trying to cope on my own!"

I walked closer to him and he looked away from me. It killed me to see him like this. "I'm sorry, Bill. I really am, I just... I can't go through with it..."

He shook his head and rushed out of the studio, leaving me to stand by the door feeling like a total dick.