The Stalkers' Guide To Roadtrips

Day 31: All Good Things Must Come To An End

                                                                            Home, let me come home,

                                                                    Home is wherever I'm with you.

Start Destination: Paris, France

End Destination: Metz, France

Via: /

9:14AM (GMT) / 10:14AM (Local Time)

"Well this trip went downhill fast," Elise jokes, "Levi is newly single and we hate the people who make up our ex-favourite band."

"You make it sound so dramatic El," Rosie says, "we're all dealing with it."

Gazes turn to Levi to see if this is true. Unlike yesterday there are less tears and he is no longer swearing which I take as a good sign.

"I'm fine," Levi says when he notices we're looking at him, "I'll get over it."

With that he settles into the backseat and expectant gazes fall on Elise.

"Today would be nice," I tease, "I'd actually like to get there before I turn eighty. I mean Levi looks terrible with a beard."

Elise frowns at me before letting out a sarcastic laugh.

"You're so funny Jess," she says sounding unimpressed, "have you ever considered becoming a comedian?"

"Year Eight," I reply dreamily, "Charlie Martin laughed at my joke about tractors and I decided I wanted to make him laugh all the time. The only normal way to do that seemed to be by becoming a comedian."

"Charlie Martin isn't even that hot," Rosie tells me disapprovingly.

"Year Eight Charlie Martin was."

Elise murmurs in agreement and Rosie sighs.

"He was alright."

"He was model material and you know it," I say, "I don't know what changed, he used to be so perfect."

"He became a douche," Elise says.

"Seriously?" Levi asks. "He stopped being hot because he was a douche."

"It's a scientific fact that guys with a horrible personality can't be seen as hot," Rosie replies in a matter-of-fact tone, "and there doesn't tend to be many hot guys who aren't douches, at least not at our school."

"Hey!" Levi says after a few moments. "I'm hot and I'm not a douche."

Rosie and I turn to look at him with raised eyebrows before sighing simultaneously at his look of confusion.

"The fact that you even said that suggests you are a douche," I tell him.

"Well I'm not."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Rosie mutters, "you did cheat on your girlfriend."

"Hey! At least I didn't tell everyone that I was going out with Zac Efron."

"That was like in Year 8!"

I can sense a full blown sibling argument coming on and I prepare myself for the impending headache and lean back in my seat. Elise seems to sense it to, although she is certainly more proactive about it.

"Nobody is a douche!" She shouts quickly before Rosie can reply. "Now that that's settled who fancies stopping for some ice cream?"

There are various murmurs of approval for the idea and the tension between Levi and Rosie seems to subside although I can still hear Levi grumbling under his breath.