I Will Follow You Into The Dark || Jegulus

64. Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

"You what!?" Sirius practically shouted.

"Keep it down this is private Marauders matters!" James placed his hand over Sirius's mouth.

"I don't think it's a very good idea, I mean what can a cat do against a werewolf?" Sirius asked.

"What can a rat do?" Remus asked back, slightly annoyed at his loud friends. They sat in a circle around a table in the common room, kindly ignoring that the subject in question was reading a book within earshot on the sofa.

"That's mean! I let you guys into the shack." Peter crossed his arms.

"Technically anyone could do that, even without being an Animagus, that's the whole point of the tree existing, Dumbledore and Minnie think I go in there alone every month." Remus said.

"Back on track. I think we should let Regulus help. It'd be fun. What do we even do all night anyway? Remember that time moony was out cold and we just badly attempted to play card games in our Animagus forms?" James asked.

"You kept stabbing the cards with your horns" Sirius grinned.

"I think it's a good idea. Its only for this year anyway. Next year he will still be at Hogwarts. It's good bonding time for you guys as brothers." Remus said.

Sirius nodded, "I guess so." He sighed.

"Hey Reggie! You've been accepted, get over here" James called. "All you need is a name" he said once Regulus was beside him.

"How about pencil sharpener?" Sirius suggested.

"How does that make any sense idiot? All of our names are a physical attribute of our Animagus, his has to match." Remus said.

"Hairball." Sirius said.

"Let's get serious. How about whiskers" James suggested.

The rest of the group nodded in agreement

"I like that." Regulus smiled.

"We need to change the marauders map now. Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Whiskers, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the marauders map." Peter suggested

"I could get that done before the full moon." Remus said.

"Y'know, I've never actually seen this supposed map." Regulus said.

"Oh my gods, Reg." Sirius pulled the map out of the bag sitting next to him. He spread it out on the table in front of the group.

"A blank piece of parchment. How creative." Regulus rolled his eyes.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Remus muttered, and the parchment transformed into a map of the entire castle grounds. Names and footprints scoured the page.

"Wow." Regulus glanced over the map, pressing his fingers against his own name.

"Took us years to figure out, but it shows everyone on campus all the time." James grinned.

Regulus looked over it and the boys in front of him in awe, never expecting something like that to come out of people like them, excluding Remus, who was one of the smartest people Regulus knew, and he had to give James some credit, he was a lot smarter than he seemed, passing almost all of his classes without breaking a sweat. Regulus never saw him studying, or doing homework, but he knew for a fact that James got it all done. Sirius was similar, being surprisingly studious, but unlike James, he struggled in some subjects, and spent a lot of extra time studying with Remus and Peter. The seventh year's N.E.W.T's were coming up, and they were panicking. 

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Regulus couldn't breathe. Hands and bodies grabbed him, pulling him under the water, restricting his breathing. He gasped for air, but all he did was suck in water, burning his lungs. The hands burned, their nails digging into Regulus's skin. All he could think of was Sirius. Would things be different if Regulus was a better brother? If he wasn't a traitor? Would he have had a happy ending in that timeline? Regulus desperately wished he was allowed to be happy, but he was cursed. 

Regulus woke up in a cold sweat. His arm ached, and he was in an unfamiliar room. Instead of the dark green he was expecting, he yet again woke up in James's bed, the boy next to him mumbled sleepily. 

"mmn... Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He muttered, wrapping his arms tighter around Regulus's waist.

"M-My arm." Regulus groaned, gripping his bandaged arm to his stomach, then crying out in pain. 

James let go of Regulus and shot up, "Are you - shit are you alright?" James asked, "We need to check them. I think that's best Reg." James said, acknowledging the clear neglect Regulus had for his self inflicted injury. 

James cast a Lumos. Regulus sighed and sat up, letting James unwrap the bandages on Regulus's arms, and this time he didn't look away, deciding he was ready to see the full extent of his homebrew counter spell. His arm was covered in brutal scars, but the dark mark was back, prominent as ever, burning Regulus's arm. 

"Shit, fuck" Regulus cried out, loud enough to wake up Remus, who they usually let sleep in. It was the day of the full moon, which meant he would be in the most pain. Regulus considered learning how to brew wolfsbane, which would be a huge struggle, but worth it considering Remus's pain, and his graduation.

"Reggie? You okay?" Remus muttered, groaning in his half asleep state.

"I'll be fine. Sorry for waking you moony." Regulus clenched his fists. His arm burned more than the phlegethon river that flowed through Tartarus. So hot that it actually felt cold.

James ran his hand up and down Regulus's back, "I would suggest seeing Pomfrey, but-" James trailed off, looking down at Regulus's arm, "how do you even help something like that?" He asked.

"He's doing it on purpose. He's calling me - shit." Regulus squeezed his eyes shut, "I think it burns more than usual because its re-burning itself into my arm as well."

"Shit reg. Take it easy today okay, if you can't join us tonight it's no big deal." James squeezed Regulus's shoulder.

"I'll be fine. I've been through much worse." Regulus said, and took a deep breath.

"That's not the point reg. You can't downplay your pain just because you've been through worse." James said. 

"I'll be fine." Regulus insisted, unable to look James in the eye.

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GUYS

i got my nails done for prom (its next week) AND THEYRE SO LONG. its genuinely impossible to do anything (i am STRUGGLING to edit this chapter, let alone type new ones) but fuck it we ball. the semester at the community college i dual credit at has finally finished, so no more boring ass gov professor to tune out as i write my chapters, but knowing my luck ill end up in another one of his classes next semester, because i think i have to take a texas government class which i know he teaches. 

ANYWAY, how are we feeling about all the reggie trauma??? also it could be so much worse (oh it WILL be just wait till he doednt have james and sirius, THE rich kids who literally can and will harass people are gone, like omfg) anyway theres so many things i feel like i could have done with this story that I didnt, and i wish i could just restart (I COULD NEVER) 

one more silly little  comment. the other day my friends called me twinkie pie (I HATE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE MY OPS) theyre so sick and twisted (its hard to live in this society as a gay guy smh) (guys i hate gay people so much im so homophobic)