Funny Short Stories

This Is Goodbye

Steven ran his hand through his hair, as he paced up and down in his kitchen. He didn't know how to tell her. However, he had to try.

He stopped and turned to face her.

"Okay, here it goes, I'm leaving you."

God, that felt good to get out.

"Don't look at me like that. We've not been having a good relationship, for some time now. You must have known this was coming. Please, don't make this any harder than it already is. There's no easy way to say this, but uh, I've found someone else."

Steven walked out of the room. He came back in with the new girl in his life.

"She's good for me," he tried to reason. "She does what I say, exactly, when I say it. She doesn't give me any crap."

He had to stop talking, just to admire his new girls beauty. Yes, a definite upgrade.

"Come on, don't cry," he said, facing his old girl once more. "Yes, I know we've had some good times. Yes, I know you've been there for me in times of need."

Steven rolled his eyes. This wasn't going as well as he'd hoped.

"Look, you deserve better. No, you don't want me. Stop this!"

Why did she have to beg like this. It's ridiculous.

"We're over," he said firmly, "it's not right, the way I've treated you. I mean, come on, just last week, I threw you against a wall! I hit you. I shout in your face. That's not a good relationship to have. Yes, I know you deserve it, but still, it breaks my heart."

She had to see things his way now, surely.

"No, don't say you can change, when we both know you won't. It's over! Goodbye, my lo...'

"Yo, bro, want a cup of coff..." Carl trailed off. His eyebrows raised, as he scratched his head, not sure what he just walked in on. "Are you talking to your phone?"

Steven looked at Carl, then back to his cheap-ass phone. "Uh, no!"

He waited till his brother left the room, then picked his phone up. "As I was saying, this is goodbye, my love."

He throws her in the bin, then picks up his new love. They both lived happily ever after. Well, until she decided to crash one day.