Sun - Guess what I've just heard?
Earth - I swear if it's another conspiracy theory about how I'm ending, I'll...I'll...
Mars - Explode?
Earth - I wouldn't give you the satisfaction.
Sun - It's not another conspiracy theory.
Mars - Don't tell me, Saturn's lost her ring?
Saturn - Not likely.
Sun - Guess again.
Venus - oh I know what it is. They've made another song about me. Am I right, or, am I right?
Sun - Uh, you're wrong.
Venus - Why not? I am a Goddess, you know.
Mars - Yeah, the Goddess of fools.
Venus - The Goddess of love, actually!
Mars - Exactly!
Sun - Can we get back to guessing what I've just heard please?
Moon - They've made another nursery rhyme about me?
Venus - Why would they do that, when they could sing about me instead?
Jupiter - I do believe I've been mentioned in a song too.
Mars - Yeah well, I can go one better, I've had a chocolate bar named after me.
Milky way - So have I.
Galaxy - And me.
Mercury - I have the same name as a chemical element.
Pluto - I've had a dog named after me.
Neptune - My name was on Sponge Bob. Just thought I'd join in.
Saturn - It's Uranus I feel sorry for.
Jupiter - Ugh, he's such an ass.
Mars - Yeah, he smells like one too.
Uranus - Yeah, yeah, enough with the jokes already!
Sun - Again, can we please get back to guessing what I've heard?
Moon - It better not be another landing.
Earth - I've heard they want to make life on Mars.
Mars - Oh you'd love that, wouldn't you?
Earth - Of course.
Mars - Hell would freeze over before I look like you!
Earth - Well, it looks like there's a snowstorm heading hells way.
Jupiter - Will you two can it, before I throw a meteor at the pair of you!
Earth - I'm just saying.
Jupiter - Pluto, if you ever fancy trading places with one of us, just give me a holler.
Pluto - I think I'll pass. I don't want any landings done on me.
Mars - you don't need to worry. I don't they'll be interested in dwarf planets.
Sun - Uh, excuse me? Yeah, the flaming ball of fire over here, remember me? Can we please get back to guessing?
Mercury - This is getting boring now.
Saturn - I agree. Sun, can't you just tell us?
Sun - Fine! So, there I was, minding my own business, shining...
Mars - Sun, we just want the answer, not an essay!
Sun - Uh, I had to listen to you lot bicker over who's better than who, so you have to listen to my essay. As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted... Shining my gorgeous rays over everyone, when I heard someone say, and I quote, 'the sun's hot today'.
Mars - And?
Sun - That's it. Someone said I was hot. Can you believe that? They think I'm hot!
Mars - Well no shit, there was me thinking you were as cold as ice!
Venus - Ugh, that's nothing, I'm the God...
All the planets in unison - Yes, Venus, we know! You're the Goddess of love!
YOU ARE READING
Funny Short Stories
HumorHave you ever wondered what happens to that odd sock which seems to disappear in the wash? What would a monsters helpline sound like? How would you cope with a idiot for a brother? What if alarm clocks could talk? What would you do if one day, yo...
