Silver Linings

Chapter Fifteen

Rains POV:

"Rain, wake up!" Misty's voice said loudly into my ear, ripping me from my nap.

I jerked forward abruptly, taking in my surroundings.

A few other passengers on the plane looked over at me as my sister burst into a fit of laughter next to me.

"Fuck off." I grumbled low enough so only Misty could hear and smacked her in the head with the pillow I was previously using to sleep.

"Ow! Why do you always have to be so aggressive?" Misty pouted, acting like it was a brick that hit her face and not a pillow.

I just rolled my eyes and looked out the window. The L.A. skyline was quickly approaching letting me know we were about to land.

We just finished our second week of the international break in the Netherlands where we played their international team in a friendly yesterday. We won 2-0 then the majority of us hopped on a plane back to the states except a few others like Riley and Charlie, who played for Chelsea in London.

I'd like to say that this international window was able to reset and put some space between myself and the weird feelings I was feeling towards a certain English woman.

That would be a lie.

If anything, everything between us got even more intense and weird.

I have no excuse for what happened last Friday. I was jealous, simple as that. Ellie knew that I was jealous.

I gave too much away that night.

I was infuriated by the fact that that stranger could put his hands on her and I couldn't. I wanted to take her to my hotel room and punish her until the fucking morning in that moment.

That thought is what pulled me from my angered daze.

She's not mine to punish.

I was acting like a fucking psychopath, laying some sick claim on the poor girl that has never even been established.

She is in no way shape or form, mine. She's my friend and teammate that I find extremely attractive. That's it.

I know Ellie might feel a little more than that for me. That's what makes the whole thing worse. Me holding her hand the way I did was leading her on. I can't give her what she wants from me.

I'm not ready for a serious relationship. I don't think I ever will be. Ellie doesn't deserve that. She is too good for that. Too good for me. I would just corrupt her beautiful soul with my dark one.

No. I won't do that.

So I decided to stop calling her nightly, settling on a few quick text messages at the end of the day.

I needed to put a little distance between us but I also didn't want to lose her friendship. My relationship with her in that aspect is too important to me. I value every second I get to spend with her more than my stupid urges to sleep with her.

I can control that side of me with a simple text or trip to the bar, which I plan on doing as soon as this plane lands.

I need to get Ellie out of my head. I need to relieve some of this tension.

As soon as the plane landed Misty and I walked out to my car in the parking garage and I sent a quick text to Sarah asking if she'd like to come over.

Sarah is an old teammate who had a career ending knee injury a few years ago. When she was going through that really tough time after being forced into retirement I invited her to live with me until she got onto her feet.