Rarely Does Someone

Chapter 21 (The Ultimate Strategy)

"Rose is so beautiful, uproots itself to connect two hearts."

Khwahish's POV

"THE DEMONS IN MY HEAD OFTEN GO AT WAR,
I stay quiet as they tear themselves apart!
When the one defeats the other,
It's me who loses as I can't close the shutter!

'ONE DAY, IT WILL ALL BE ALRIGHT',
The hope I hold on to tight!
As it helps me get through the dark night,
To walk into the morning as a shining knight!
Yet another day casts its light,
YET ANOTHER BATTLE, I FIGHT!"

"Dandelion?"

-Hmmm"

"Are you done?"

Greek God asks excited as he convinced me to write my heart out in poetry which he claims is the best way to reduce anxiety and traumatic feelings. Am I feeling all this? Maybe but am damn sure that 'No' is not the answer. Why?? As I am tired of running. So tired of fighting with the world and myself for him, of pretending everything was, is okay. When I'm struggling to keep my head above water.

I'm drowning in the enormous ocean of what ifs, of it's not me it's you, of it will workout, of everything going fucking wrong. And even after having a lifeguard, I'm submerging deeper and deeper.

"Dandelion, again? We have decided, right? No more dejections. No more misery. No more hopelessness."

He says looking at the scribbling I just did because every time this pen meets paper, my soul splits in two. While this ink keeps bleeding memories of him. But what justification could I offer when all this is what I truly feel right now.

"Hmmm."
I say as tears form their way in my eyes again. I just want it back like it was before.

"C'mon Dandelion! You haven't slept for almost a month by now. Tell me what happened that night? You know right, cursed are those who feel oceans but can't express a drop. Keeping it all to yourself will worsen things, right?"

"How am I able to sleep when Ahaan hasn't for 8 years?
How am I able to not mourn when neither he wanna leave me nor wanna accept me?
How am I able to accept the fact that I'm nothing to my everything?
How am I supposed to end which never started?
How Sarab How?"

I say despairingly. Its midnight of 24th February. Few days to his birthday. I just kept texting him daily morning for reminders of medicines. Because I can't face him after that day. The pain to choose in his eyes. The pain to not let go was piercing me like swords the other day. I have no issues with whatever happened but the thing that he wants both of us chokes me.

We aren't some birds which he wants to have one in hand and one in bush. I didn't attend the inauguration ceremony to watch Greek God performing, which I deep down wanted to, but I am not strong enough for having a conversation or confrontation again with Ahaan.

Greek God comes closer picking my chin to assure me with those ocean eyes. I weep my heart out as he embraces my arm.

"He isn't ready to choose amongst you two, right? Why he doesn't realize that both of you are the same person? I get that because of the tough time he was in and losing everyone he had isn't easy but still."
He says annoyed.