Touhou Project: Issekaid Gensokyo Idiots

The sun before the...is the EoSD mist a storm?

"Okay it's game time!" I said. I did some cossack squats, stretching my legs. I did some air boxing. I drank some water. Got tired and took a nap with Chen. Did some laps, I put some war paint on my face like a football player, but then I decided to take a shower because Ran-sama got mad. Finally, 1 hour until the EoSD incident. I sighed, feeling the stress build in my chest. I closed my eyes, focusing my magic. A red outline slowly covered me, and I began to levitate into the air at a snail's pace. As I got more concentration, I got into the air faster. I then opened my eyes, seeing myself in the air through my [Skill: Flight]

...and yet my wings still weren't moving, 

"Alright! Let's get moving!" I began flying towards the objective marker, flying over the Forest of Magic. I looked down, seeing two houses in the forest. Marisa and... "Ah...Alice...wha-no! I gotta focus! Laifu before Waifu! Even if Alice is possibly best girl!"

[A new player has joined the server]

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" I stopped and looked up as the barrier seemed to fritz out again, before something headbutted me, and we both began falling to the ground. We crashed, both of us groaning in pain. I rolled onto my hands, and jumped out of the crater onto my feet. The person across from me floated out, "Who said Alice wasn't best girl!?"

I stood there in confusion. He was a fairy, with blonde messy hair, blonde-eyes, and was wearing a Kimono with a sun-theme. Their skin was fair, a little tan. And he had small wings on his back moving quickly to keep his body up. He also had tiny little bootsies, to fit his small body. 

"Me?" I asked.

"Why?" He asked.

"Well I said possibly. She has a lot of co-"

"Heresy!" He yelled. His eyes flashed red, a purple aura appear around him.

"The fuck?" I asked.

[Warning. The Hakurei Barrier has interrupted the reincarnation process. User has obtained a bug. Defeat the user to remove the bug.]

"Of course..." I say, "Look I have to get going, I've got to solve the EoSD incident."

"Remi's feet sweat has nothing to do with this!" He said.

"What does-" My eyes opened wide, as the world seemed to flash...back.

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"Alright, alright, here me out here." I said.

"Okay."

"Mommy is great, Patchouli Patchouli Ravioli is thick as hell, Ran has floof but...Remi feet sweat." I told him. There was a pause.

"Im...im sorry what?" He asked, laughing.

"Ok, think about it. Vampires don't take in all the waste humans do, right? Pretty much everything they take in is non-waste. SO! This means a vampire's sweat is healthier than humans, which is like nothing but salt. So theoretically speaking, you could hydrate yourself off of Remi's-" I couldn't finish, as I was laughing, unable to play the game.

"I mean...!" he said, "I guess!"

"Im spittin!" I tell him laughing at our late night stupidity.

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I snap back to reality as the fairy punches me in the face, there goes gravity. I caught my feet and headbutted the fairy in the nose, sending them back. He began firing yellow danmaku at me. I began running around him in a circle reminiscent of a blue rat. I then raised my hand and began firing red danmaku. He was hit with them, before he flew up into the air, raising his hands above his head.