Touhou Project: Issekaid Gensokyo Idiots

The fear of mo- I mean, a women

I stood terrified at the woman, as she looked at me. Mo- I mean she had dark golden eyes, with long blonde hair that had scattered red ribbons. A dark purple dress, with a light pink cap that had a small red ribbon on it. She had a pink umbrella, I think technically a parasol, and a paper fan, while she sat on a gap. Her skin was kind of pale, if I'm being honest, but that wasn't exactly a turn off- I mean uh, a bad thing. She didn't look a day over 21, aside from her mom- maturism. Yeah.

"I leave you alone for a few minutes to bother Reimu and," Mom- Lady Yukari yawned, "And you go off and get into a scuffle."

"Mmhmm!" I yelled muffled. She was indeed a beautiful woman, but that wasn't really what was distracting me. You see here in Gensokyo everyone ends up one of two ways. They're either...small, or not. And currently I am having trouble focusing due to a problem I had not thought of when thinking rationally.

"Is something wrong?" Yukari asked. I stood there thoughtless for a moment, before the words my brain was trying to function finally popped into my mind.

"What Gensokyo heaven- no I mean hell- whatever, did I land in!? How the fuck am I supposed to be mentally stable when momm- I-I mean mo- Lady Yukari is carrying a fucking mountain on her chest!? Now I'm terrified and turned on, damn it SMDBZX!" I thought to myself, staring at Lady Yukari and shaking in...fear? I wasn't sure at this point.

"Hello? Are you still their dear?" Yukari asked.

"Don't call her mommy, don't call her mommy, don't call her mommy-" I thought to myself.

"Yes Lady Mom- Yukari!" I said swiftly.

"DAMN IT!" I thought to myself. She seemed taken aback at what I said.

"Oh my, I get it now," She giggled while moving her fan in front of her, "You're such a flatterer! But no need to flatter me darling. How is it you know my name?"

"Uhhh...I heard it in my sleep?" I said un-convincingly. She hummed.

"I see. If you would please make your way back, this place is quite unpleasant." Yukari asked me.

"Yes Ma'am!" I said quickly, whistling and walking back the way I came. The Fire Angel followed behind me. Yukari floated on her gap, following behind me. We arrived back at her house, where her 9-tailed Shikigami waited. She was also closer to fan-art interpretations than non. Though she wasn't quite a walking arsenal like Yukari.

"Lady Yukari, young man, welcome back." Lady Ran said. I nervously waved, and Yukari yawned again. She seemed very tired.

"Now then, let's get to business. I'm quite tired." Yukari said.

"Shall I prepare something for you master?" Ran asked.

"No need...I'll head back to sleep afterwards." Yukari stated. She sighed and leaned back relaxed, while I was stiff as a board, "let's get straight to business. Who are you?"

"I'm Michael Yuukaza!" I told her.

"The yakuza?" She asked. I sighed.

"I hate my name..." I mumbled.

"I am definitely changing it when/if I get home." I thought to myself. I looked at her and tried to look cute. 

"So uh...what does a couple of beautiful youkai such as yourself want with little ol me?" I asked.

"Don't play Coy." Yukari told me seriously. I felt a wave of fear over me again, "You completely shattered through the barrier, a feat very much so thought to be difficult. The speed it would take to do so would be far too much for your body to handle. So you had to break it."