Anntonia and I went back to our own lives after that tour in Mexico, we have no contact with each other, I haven't heard anything from her, and maybe she didn't hear anything from me either.
I still can't believe I have to let go of her.
It's been 5 months since the pageant, 5 MONTHS but I can't still move on.
I've been distracting myself so I won't think about her, I've been drinking and racing, I even went to Japan, but still, I can't get over her.
This is the first time that I felt like this, I experienced being heartbroken before but this is the most hurtful. Ughhh, Anntonia Porsild what have you done to me?
"Wifey, dinner is ready" Rhian shouted "I'll be there"
'knock knock'
"Michelle, can I come in?" I heard a voice outside my door "It's open"
"Michelle, you have to eat, you haven't eaten since in the morning, is this still about her?" "If yes, Michelle you have to move on, she already has a boyfriend and she loves him" Rhian added "But she loves me too" "Yeah sure, but it's wrong, why did you even fall in love with a person who has a boyfriend haha" Rhian sarcastically said "Oh come on, if you're just gonna tease me, might as well get out of my room" "Sorry, but seriously you have to move on. Oh, by the way, Samantha is going back here to the Philippines, she asked if we wanna go to the beach, we should go for y'know, distraction" "Why is she coming back here?" "I don't know" "Ugh, you should go to the beach, I'll just be here in the house" "No. We have to go together, pack your things right now, and If I go back and you're still not finished packing I'll pack it for you, I mean it" she said and walked out of my room.
"Haaahh" I screamed in frustration
I don't wanna see her right now. But of course, I have to pack, I'll still go anyway even if I insist, Rhian be controlling me sometimes. Haha Maybe I'll just try to avoid her. But I'm not gonna lie, I wanna go to the beach just to take photos.
"Wow you are such a very good girl, you already finished packing, we'll go tomorrow morning hehe, goodnight wifey" "Goodnight your ass"
We're on the way to the beach right now, I don't even know where this is, but when we arrived, it was the best beach I've seen in a while.
Oh my god there she is "Michelle, you're here, I missed you," Samantha said "haha you're here too" "Did you miss me?" Samantha asked "Ha, I will, I will"
"Hey, please, be nice to her, she's still our friend" Rhian whispered to me
"Here is your room key, go there and try to be nice with Samantha," Rhian said
Avoiding her will be hard, I just know it.
The next day, we went to see the beach, some of our friends were already in the water, with Rhian, but me, I was just sitting in the sand and watching them.
"Hey, can I join you here?" Oh shoot she's here, how do I reply nice to her?
"Sure."
"So how are you?" "Doing great" "By the way, congrats for getting into the top 10 in Miss Universe, also you won all of the awards? Wow." "Yeah, thanks, oops someone is calling me, I have to answer this" No one is calling me by the way, it was just an excuse to avoid her.
I immediately went back to my room, I hadn't even taken a photo of myself on the beach, I guess I'll just have to take a photo inside.
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After dinner, I went to the beach alone, I sat there absorbing the breeze. for 30 minutes. Ugh, can't even have an hour by myself.
"Hey," it's Samantha again, when is she going to leave me again. "Can I sit beside you?" She asked Am I allowed to say no? haha "Yeah sure"
We sat there in silence, and I'm fine with that, I was enjoying the silence when she spoke again
"Michelle I still love you" What the heck "Oh really?" "I know it's been 4 years but I still love you" "You literally said that 4 years ago and left me, without any word, you left us, you left me, you knew I liked you for years after you said you love me, you left me. Then you'll come here to me and say I love you as if nothing happened before, you left me, and you left my heart broken, I suffered after you left, thinking what did I do wrong for you to leave me literally after my birthday. Ugh, I can't believe you" I said without stuttering. I was about to stand up when she held my hand, pushed me to her, and kissed me, I immediately pushed her. "What the fuck are you doing?" I said "Michelle please let's go back to before, the happy and in love us, please?" "I'm sorry Sam but I don't want to, I already moved on to you and I loved someone else" "Is it Anntonia Porsild? The one with the boyfriend? You fall in love with someone who has a boyfriend, you are so stupid, Mich" I slapped her I couldn't believe what she just said to me, my tears were falling down my cheeks I wiped them looking straight into her eyes, and left. "Mich, I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that" I ignored her and walked to my room, packed my bags, and went to the rest house I just bought using Rhian's car, I just took the car and drove it without her permission good thing she left her bag in my room so it's easy to steal her keys.
At that moment I realized how miserable I am whenever I fall in love with a person, I guess I have to rest my heart for a moment, only rest.
