The past week or so I've been having these mood swings where one day I feel good and I feel happy and everything and then the next I can't go ten minutes without having bad thoughts and wanting to disappear. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
Michaela's journal #2
Table of contents-
should be
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would anyone care
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friends
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spiral
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need
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this again
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it's your fault
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wait
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plan
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little talks
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none of my business
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don't think
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why does this happen so much
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when all you wanted was to be wanted
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tu me manques
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how does this work
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where we went wrong
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let me off this rollercoaster
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small update
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fifteen
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i want to stay
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research
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unsure
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i'm so sorry
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how can you say that
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you shouldn't
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heavy
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cooking
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:\
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break
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falling
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...
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i'm going to kill myself
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dear eleanor
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Boston
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i swear
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right where you left me
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tell me what to change
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yeah
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be better
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pick one
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i don't understand
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why won't you talk to me
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fresh start
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talia
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not that easy
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maybe there's a reason
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dear gods
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how can you think i'm okay
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fix this
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how
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i can't sleep
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you promised
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i dyed my hair
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can't change it
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risk
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oh my gods
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stop
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well
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hypocrite
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the world doesn't revolve around you
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belong
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star wars
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dear eleanor
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make a decision
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don't get it
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flashback
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it's not that simple
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this isn't funny
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cupcakes
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they say these are the golden years
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slip-ups
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if you loved me
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overload
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planned out
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Mother's Day
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hmm
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last chance
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this is life before you know who you're supposed to be
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secret
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five seven five
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another secret
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good day
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romeo and juliet (hopefully without the gruesome death)
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12 am thoughts
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what to do
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i'm about to lose it
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and then
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so many feelings
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what are you waiting for
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why can't we be happy
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special
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parents
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tbh
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i'm not a therapist
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why does everyone want a baby???
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sorry
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drained
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control
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i can't fix this
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is it really that big a deal
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have hope
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healer
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missing
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i want to help
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an ideal day
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horrible
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olympics
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why would anyone want to watch the world burn?
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inside out
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i'll be the first
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god
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how could you do that
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get away
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love love love
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worry about everything
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dear austin
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better than anyone
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why won't they listen
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we'll become strangers sooner or later
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double standard
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one day
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no answers
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three days
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the only thing i did right
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help
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UGHHHH
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day 0
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i'm so tired of this
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too good to be true
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not up to me
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i mean it
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august
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the incident
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not yet
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easier
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so much for my self-esteem
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clean
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here we go again
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nudge
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a thought that's been in my mind ever since she told me she liked me
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:(
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too much
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why can't we just be happy?
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sigh
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thinking
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intrusive thoughts
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life is pretty good (except for geometry)
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a real girl
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fears
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act two
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fall
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cycles
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what i've learned about healing
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ballerina
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my birthday
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puzzle
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violence violence murder murder stabby stabby death death
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leave a mark
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mood swings
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single minute
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three months
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things i want to do in 2024
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mad woman
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???
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end of story
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body dysmorphia
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:/
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dwelling
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thoughts
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and thats how i know we need to break up
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dear eleanor
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don't know if i miss you or just the way you made me feel
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bpd
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thinking again
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hate
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