Be loved by one or be liked by all, but still lonely. Loved or liked. It should be easy, right? And I feel like I made the right choice but I'm not so sure. Sometimes I feel so guilty it's like it's eating away at me. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe it's my fault, not Livi's. Maybe it's my fault they're always fighting. Maybe I should've said no. Maybe I ruined everything. Maybe maybe maybe.
Today was good. It's my first time staying at a hotel. We went to the aquarium, but I may have been looking at Eleanor more than at the fish. Then going red when she notices and pretending I was looking at sea life instead. I just don't understand how she makes me feel like this. It's amazing. And yeah, a little scary. But way less now. Who knew life was so much easier when you have someone like that in your life? I can't really explain it. But it's the best feeling in the world. Please don't take it away.
