In French you don't say "I miss you." You say "tu me manques" which means "you are missing from me." It feels like Eleanor is missing from me. It's only been four days and that means I still have ten more until she comes home. She talked about how excited she was to go on this trip but it seems like so far she hasn't been having a great time at all.
It almost makes me want to say, why don't you just come home then? But I can't say that. Apparently yesterday Estelle tried to drown herself and when Eleanor tried to save her Estelle pulled them in too and Eleanor didn't even tell me about this because she "thought I wouldn't care." Because she feels like no one cares about her. Are you kidding? Why would you assume I don't care that you could have died?? Am I that bad of a girlfriend? Do they actually think I don't care when she's all I think about? When all I do is worry the universe is going to take her from me because it's taken so many other people I care about away?
Sigh.
