Girl und Panzer: The Yankee's in Tank

Special Chapter

A/n I wanna do this because I keep having this stuck in my head I might move it later to the Knights Backstage book anyway enjoy this skit

Skit 1: Edward vs Houston (Tankery end x Yankee's in Tank) totally approved by King Discord

The echoing footsteps in the empty void added an element of suspense, but as the light revealed the "Best Character in Girls Und Panzer" chair, it was clear that Edward was pretty confident about his claim to that title. With a mischievous smile, he strutted toward the seat, brimming with self-assuredness.

But just when Edward thought he had it in the bag, he heard the ominous sound of approaching footsteps. His eyes widened in surprise as the light revealed Houston, dressed in his Davy Crockett Stealth uniform, complete with night vision goggles. It was like something out of a quirky crossover fanfiction.

Houston's goggles made him look both comically determined and ready for action as he crept closer to the "Best Character" chair. The tension in the room was palpable as the two characters stood just a few feet away from their coveted prize.

The camera zoomed in on Edward, who was dressed to the nines in his Uncle Sam Commander uniform, glaring at Houston with a mix of disbelief and annoyance. His perfectly coifed hair and impeccable uniform contrasted with Houston's night vision goggles, creating a hilarious visual juxtaposition.

As they locked eyes, it was clear that a showdown was imminent. In a flash, Edward made a break for the chair, his polished boots clicking loudly on the empty void's floor. Simultaneously, Houston, his night vision goggles still perched on his head, dashed towards the prize. It was like a comedic race, but the stakes were sky-high.

The two got closer and closer, faster and faster, until they collided with an electrifying burst of energy. Lightning crackled, and the room erupted in a dazzling display of chaos. Sparks flew, and for a moment, it seemed like the universe itself was struggling to determine who truly deserved the title of the "Best Character in Girls Und Panzer."

After the dust (metaphorically speaking, since they were in an empty void) settled, Houston emerged from the fray, still sporting that grin of his. He was comfortably seated on the "Best Character" chair. But the camera shifted to reveal that Edward had miraculously managed to secure a spot on the chair, too, much to Houston's surprise

The brawl escalated quickly as Edward launched the first punch, but Houston, thanks to his training at the Vermont Tankery Academy, was well-prepared. He deftly blocked Edward's attacks and displayed his combat skills by dodging and weaving. In a surprising move, Houston delivered a powerful uppercut to Edward's chin, leaving him momentarily stunned. Following it up, Houston knee-struck Edward in the gut, making him gasp for air, and with a mighty toss, he sent Edward tumbling off the stage, leaving him to rue his loss of the "Best Character" spot.

As Edward lay offstage, nursing his ego and bruised pride, Houston walked back to the chair with the air of victory. He confidently took his seat, asserting his dominance over the coveted title of "Best Character in Girls Und Panzer." Removing the night vision goggles, he revealed his dark brown eyes, matching his hair, and wore a bandana wrapped around his forehead, adding a touch of style to his triumphant moment.

Houston was truly savoring his victory as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, just like his favorite character from the Metal Gear Solid game he loved to play. He lit it up and inhaled, creating a smoky, dramatic ambiance as he reclined in his chair, a true victor in this quirky and comedic showdown for the elusive title.

Skit 2: "Ugh Dying"

 The skit unfolds in a room where two rival teams, represented by Grant, Scott, 'Machine, and Troy on one side, and Austin, Hans, William, and Mark on the other, sit at the same table, casting competitive glares at each other.

Grant breaks the ice by asking, "So... Have you guys done a commercial before?"

Austin responds, "A commercial? Um, no, we have not."

Hans adds, "But we did get some sponsors who support our Uncle Sam school."

Scott, in an annoyed tone, quips, "Figures you guys get sponsored."

Troy tries to lighten the mood, saying, "At least we got featured in a commercial, guys, come on, cheer up."

Mark is intrigued and asks, "Oh really, and what commercial featured this school?"

Machine seizes the moment, replying, "This one," as he proceeds to play a video of the commercial.

As the commercial plays, it shows a fierce battle between Davy Crockett High and Grand Lake High in the finals of Girls Und Panzer. The camera focuses on Houston, who appears to be stumbling around the battlefield, looking utterly exhausted and out of energy. In the midst of explosions and chaos, Houston delivers his lines:

"Huh... It's explosion season already... Ugh... Dying..."

In the midst of Houston's dramatic lament, a character named Jefferson, who is Houston's Vice Commander, steps in with a beverage and says, "Don't worry, Commander, I've got something for you here. Drink this... Steroid - I mean, Powerade drink."

The commercial continues with Houston, still looking utterly exhausted, reluctantly accepting the "Powerade" drink from Jefferson. He takes a long sip, and suddenly, his energy returns with a dramatic flourish. His weariness vanishes, and he appears revitalized, almost supercharged.

Houston's eyes light up with newfound vigor as he exclaims, "Whoa! This stuff is amazing! I'm back in action!"

The on-screen action shifts as Houston becomes a whirlwind of power and energy, dominating the battlefield like a true commander. He pulls off impressive maneuvers and leads his team to victory, all while sipping on the "Powerade."

Houston, still buzzing with energy from the "Powerade," expresses his gratitude, saying, "Wow, thank you, Jefferson, for giving that drink to me."

Jefferson modestly replies, "No problem, sir, it's all in a day's work," giving a thumbs up and playing along with the comedic scenario.

As the commercial wraps up, Houston takes a moment to address the camera directly, brandishing the "Powerade" with gusto. He delivers the final line with all the dramatic flair he can muster: "Powerade... Drink it or Die, MotherF******!"

The commercial ends with a burst of laughter from the characters in the room, who can't help but find the entire experience both absurd and hilarious, and Houston's over-the-top endorsement of "Powerade" leaves everyone in stitches.

Skit 3: Panzer Divison 

The scene unfolds with Captain Ludwig and his squad of German Stormtroopers hiding in the bushes. Ludwig spots Rivers and his Montana Tank Company, waiting for an enemy tank to approach. The tension in the air is palpable.

Ludwig issues an order, "Steiner, I see a Panzer; get the Panzerfaust." Steiner swiftly grabs his Airsoft MP-40 and dashes off to the side, leaving Ludwig and the platoon waiting in anticipation.

A few tense moments pass, and then Steiner returns to the group. Ludwig eagerly inquires, "Did you get the Panzerfaust?"

Steiner, with an unexpected twist, replies, "Nien, I brought the Panzer Division..." The camera then shifts to reveal North High School, with Commander Muller in his Tiger I tank, and his Vice Commander Gunther following him. The entire Panzer Division rumbles onto the scene, a formidable sight.

In a whimsical touch, Steiner starts playing the German March, "Erika,"  while watching the Panzer Division prepare for battle. With patriotic fervor, he gives Commander Muller a traditional German salute, and the division rolls out with a sense of camaraderie.

A/n: I really wanted to write this due to me holding this back so I was eh fuck here's something you guys might like so yeah enjoy this comedic skit and I'll see you all later 

-Tom out