For Now, For Good

11. - Present Day

BAYLEE

"Uhh, Baylee, we're going to miss the race" Jade acknowledges as I stand with my back to the concrete wall at the entrance to the grandstand.

"He saw me, and it looked like he wanted to throw up" I concern.

"It was fine, he didn't even like take notice" I can tell she's just trying to play it down, everyone around us could feel the awkward tension.

"I can't go back out there" I shake my head.

"He's about to be going around in circles at like 300km an hour, you''ll be nothing more than a blur."

I agree to return to our seats once I hear the engine's roar and I know for a fact he won't be able to see me.

We watch the race both in live time and via our phones to get access to what is happening around the rest of the paddock. There are some big screens that show bits and pieces but I like the way I can hear some commentary through my headphones too.

I actually got to watch Lando perform an amazing overtake on Carlos down past us on the main straight once the DRS was enabled, and even jumped up cheering with the rest of the crowd when he took the lead in the 14th lap.

By the end of the race, it was obvious he was going to take the win and with the podium sitting right across from our grandstand, there was no way I was hanging around for that.

"You have to stay" Jade groans. "He just won"

"I know" I gasp, not being able to hold down by pride.

"You have to stay, his eye site surely isn't good enough to make out who you are from here" Jade mocks.

Gazing up, I see an influx of fans crowding the straight, waiting to grasp sight of the podium winners for the Australian Grand Prix, Lando, Carlos and Charles.

"Alright" I agree, "We can stay"

Watching the drivers take their places on the podium and witnessing Lando hold the trophy high above his head in victory, I could feel myself overflowing with so much pride, yet a wave of sadness.

He's so good.

Incredible actually.

And I feel guilty that a huge part of me wishes he didn't have all of this, because whilst he belongs in this world, he has no desire to be in mine.

The crowd erupts as he jumps from the top step, smacking his champagne bottle on the ground and watching the fizz spray high into the air before he coats it all over the two Ferrari drivers.

I join them in the applause as they settle on the top step, taking a picture with their trophies, watching the complete pride and joy written all over his face.

"I thought you said he barely made it into a seat here" Jade mocks, pointing her phone in the direction of the podium and taking a few pictures.

As they begin to descend off the podium, and the crowds begin to fold away from the track, I pick up my jacket off my seat taking one last glance back toward the podium, seeing Lando gazes into the crowd, in the direction of our section, his hand shielding above his eyes.

A small smirk appears on his face as he gestures his trophy toward me, pointing his free hand in the direction of our seating.

"Oh yeah, he definitely knows you're here"

11. - A Year Ago (the eleventh hour)

Lying snug underneath Lando's arm, my fingers tracing patterns of what ifs across his bare chest, I'm not entirely sure if he's fallen asleep or not, as we've both been silent since one of the most incredible moments shared between two people.

I feel guilty for what I've done.

Of course I do.

I'm committed to Finn, but it wasn't until 11 hours ago that I really questioned my feelings.

But it's no excuse to have done this to him. No one deserves this, and I never wanted to be this person.

I feel guilty, but I don't regret it.

"Are you awake?" I hear his raspy voice from above.

Turning and resting my chin on my hand that rests on his chest, with a smirk.

"Yeah" I reply, feeling the mood shift in the room.

Lando returns his eyes to the ceiling, and I watch as he swallows deeply, something weighing him down.

"What is it?" I ask, feeling concerned.

He shifts slightly, forcing me to sit up, taking the bed sheet with me to cover my bare body with.

"Why do you look sad?" I concern. "Do you regret what we just did?"

"NO' he gasps, shaking his head. "The total opposite, actually"

Sliding myself forward slightly, positioning myself right up in front of him, my legs tucking in behind me.

I'm relieved when his face turns from concern back to looking at me the way he was right before.

"I'm really busy" he admits randomly.

My eyebrows furrow at him, "Right now? It's nearly 3am" I mock.

His head tilts at me in amusement, a dimple forming in his cheek from his smug expression.

His hand reaches out, rubbing up the length of my leg, his eyes burning into the skin where he's movement made the sheet fall from my leg.

"I'm really busy, Baylee" he repeats again in a whisper.

And that's where I know what he means.

"I know" I mutter, my chin dropping at the tone of the impending ending.

"I can't give you the.."

I reach my hand up, pressing my fingertips to his lips. "Don't" I shake my head. "We promised each other one night, that's all you owe me"

"You can't tell me that, that.." he defends.

"I know." I agree, "I felt it too. But it's not... we can't" I shrug.

Closing the gap, I lay myself down on his shoulder, snuggling into his neck, wrapping my arm around his waist.

"Why couldn't we have met at the end of the season" he chuckles.