Love Yuh Bad

Redemption

TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

**** A Few Days Later / Wednesday, March 8th 2023 ****

Marcia's POV

Mi cyaa belive seh mi baby ah have babies....

I remember when I got pregnant with her, everything about that pregnancy easily comes back to me just like it was yesterday.

I was high risk for a number of reasons, between fighting with the issues happening in my body like PCOS and Endometriosis, I was in a constant battle between life and death.

At the same time, I was in a really bad place with her father, to the point that when I first found out about Noelle I almost got an illegal abortion.

I didn't want to bring her into a broken home, even worse mi neva did want her fi be round di violence and crime that Killa was working in.

A my fault still....

Mi did know from before mi even meet him, wah kinda dealings him did ah gwaan wid.

But at the time mi did suh young and impressionable, that mi neva did ah even think bout dat.

Bare ooman did waan deh wid him and ah me him did waan be wid, dat did cause bare problem.

Anuh my fault seh mi did cute and pretty back inna di day enuh!

Mi did love Killa at first, him ah did type ah man weh yuh couldn't help but fall in love with.

He had the most beautiful smile, just like Noelle, and him did really tek care ah mi inna di beginning.

Love can make you so blind.....

Everything was seemingly fine until he found out I was pregnant with Noelle, den ah suh di problem.

We weren't perfect, but I was able to survive while being with him before the pregnancy.

The night I told him about it, the amount ah tump and lick di man give me.....

Mi surprised seh him neva kill me and Noelle off in deh dah night.

"Mi did tell yuh already Marcia, mi nuh waan nuh more pickney....."

He had already had six different kids with six different women at the time, and he was adamant about not having any more children.

But mi neva did understand why him did ah gwaan like seh ah mi alone lay dung fi mek her.

Why he could accept everyone else's baby, and not mine?

What about me made him so enraged that he couldn't accept the reality of what we were faced with?

Mi still nuh have an answer fi dat.

He always had a problem with dealing with the consequences of his own actions, and this time I was caught in the crossfire.

Six children and yuh not even waan tek care ah none of them.

Noelle not even know seh she have a couple bredda and sister inna Portmore...

I tried to not speak much about him to her when she was growing up, I thought it would do more harm and damage than be insightful.

Or maybe I was just ashamed of everything.....

It wasn't like I didn't want her to know who he was, but I felt scared of what kind of skeletons could come out of the closet if I had ever given her too much information.