BEYOND THE DEAD ZONE | COMPLETE

Forty-Four |

Forty-Four |

Idris, Ben and myself sat on the shore long after the adults were gone, and the sun had sunk. Mom and Aunt Lisa had filled them in on everything (except for my own secrets) and they listened silently. Then, we all just sat here. Normally, Ben would skip rocks and I'd pretend to push him in. Normally, he'd give me a lecture about safety and Idris would throw jokes.

Not tonight.

We sat side by side with Idris in the middle. Ben had his legs crossed, his arms balanced on his knees, Idris sat with his legs out and his face blank and I sat with my knees drawn to my chest. I wanted to say something—anything. But that stupid lump in my throat prevented that.

"I'm sorry about your mom," Ben suddenly said softly.

I picked my face up and looked at Idris.

He sighed softly. "I'm sorry about your nose."

My teeth dug at my bottom lip. I felt like an outsider. There was so much I wanted to tell them, so much I wanted to say. Jesus Christ Idris had lost his mom, and it was my fault, so I said nothing. I was too afraid. Not only had I brought Cora here, but I was exactly like her.

A lab monster with unknown abilities.

Idris should hate me. I should tell him so he could hate me and yet, I kept my stupid mouth shut. My gaze fell down to the sand, and I stared at the multicolored specks of beige and yellow. I was a coward and an accomplice to murder, and I certainly didn't deserve them.

"It's weird," Idris muttered after some more silence. "I should be upset. I-I mean I am upset. But I just, I'm coping. I shouldn't be, right? I shouldn't be so fine with this. But she had left me. It doesn't matter why, she'd left me. For years, I was raised knowing that my mom was somewhere, but she was gone too. She'd never really be my mom. Not like Lisa or Mira."

I glanced at him carefully. Despite his words, his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"You're allowed to feel however you want," Ben murmured.

Idris sighed, burying his hands in his face. "I-I know that. I just...fuck. I don't know."

I swallowed the lump. "I'm sorry Idris."

"I know Eero."

My bottom lip quivered. "D-do you hate me?"

"I-I don't know."

I squeezed my eyes shut. That was fair.

"That's not fair," Ben cut in gently. "Idris you don't hate her."

"I thought you just said I could feel what I wanted?"

"Not when you're lying," Ben snapped back. "You don't hate Eero."

"Maybe I do!" Idris yelled—I'd never seen him yell before. "M-maybe I do. This is all her fault. She was the one that had to be stupid and ran off. She was the one that freed Cora from Bio-Gen then took her here. She—"

"That's enough!" Ben lunged at him, grabbing his shoulders.

I let out a cry, stumbling forward as if to pull them apart. But I was too afraid to get involved. The two continued to wrestle on the sand, and I just backed up. I hated that Ben was trying to protect me even now, and I hated that I needed him too. A small whimper left my lips and I backed up. Maybe this was for the best.

I couldn't let Cora hurt anyone else, and if I didn't stop them, they'd follow me.

They'd get hurt.