BEYOND THE DEAD ZONE | COMPLETE

Thirty | Idris

Thirty | Idris

"She is so frustrating!" Ben groaned for the fifth time.

I couldn't help but just shrug my shoulders, my eyes moving to stare at the roofing of leaves and branches above us.

We'd been walking for a while now that I knew the Tunnels must be close. Soon, everything would change. We'd be going to war as dramatic as it sounded. It seemed silly to waste what little time we had with complaints. But that wasn't it. My feelings, they had nothing to do with the potential war.

Bits of sunlight poked through giving a gentle glow to the forest. A small smile passed my lips and I calmed slightly. It was easy to forget the little beauty in this world, but I had to make sure I could never become lost. If I lost myself and lost what I held close—who I held close, then there would be no point to any of this.

At least, that's what dad told me before he died, and Mom ditched me with grandad.

"I don't know why she's being so difficult," he seethed, stepping over a larger root, "Doing everything herself, acting like a child—why can't she see this is all pointless?"

"She's just trying to protect everyone," I muttered quietly.

It was a little annoying. How could he not see that he was just the same as Eero. Had the chairs been swapped, he would have done exactly what she had. When I had first watched her leave with Mom I was hurt. My heart was heavy. It hurt to know she'd pick the woman who abandoned me over me and it took a while but I then understood it.

Desperation.

Helplessness.

I guess, I was just like Eero too in that way.

That crushing feeling that you can't control anything and you can't protect anyone. That desperation that you would do anything for something different. I pressed my hand to my chest where I could feel it. That dull ache of miscalculated genetics that gave me hyphened senses and broken lungs. A small breath left my lips and I looked back to Ben who glared at me.

"You're not listening to me," he grumbled, "How does it not drive you insane?"

I rubbed my arm to soothe myself, "I-I'm not mad."

"Why?"

"Because I understand," I replied quietly.

"What are you talking about?" he demanded, stopping to stare at me.

The urge to shrink back filled me but I held on.

I moved my shoe over the dirt, kicking at the little rocks, "She just wants answers and she's not allowed to even ask questions. You were allowed to explore your pain from losing Eva and then chose to move on. I watched Mom leave and was given time to ask questions. Eero was trapped on the island and told not to ask questions or seek answers. She's just desperate."

His eyes narrowed and I could not longer hold back from stepping away from him with fear. I didn't fear Ben—I feared disappointing him. I wasn't strong and fearless like them. I was weak and fearful. I was afraid of hurting them or watching them get hurt because of me.

Words or not.

"You don't know anything about what we went through," he hissed, "We have been protecting you since—"

"You think that makes me feel better?" I cried, anger filling me.

It hurt because it was true. He didn't say his words to jab at me nor say them like hidden feelings he'd bottled up. He said them because he thought they were true and I just let him think that over the years. I let him and Eero both be burdened with me and I accepted it.

"I don't want you to protect me! I'm always seen as the weak one. You both always fuss over me like I'm a kid. Like I'm broken and I can't even convince you I'm not because I am weak! Both you and Eero are so strong and brave and you always make sure I'm ok. For once I want to protect you both!" I said quietly but strong.

Normally, I'd never tell them the truth but it was time. He needed to know that we were all the same and we were all hurting just in different ways. How the hell could I tell my best friends that their love for me hurt? That their protection and their kindness made me feel inadequate? I let them spoil me and in turn, they thought I was spoiled. It was almost ironic.

I cried softly and for a long while he said nothing.

When I peer up at him, I could see the emotion on his face. My mouth opened as shame hit me. I didn't want him to feel guilty, I just, I wanted him and Eero to be ok again. He stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. I let out a small cry of surprise—Ben was not like this! My cheeks burned with embarrassment as I struggled in his large muscles.

"W-what are you—" I sputtered.

A grunt slipped from his lips, "This is awkward for me too."

A small chuckle left me as we stepped away, "Then why hug me?"

He sighed, "That's what people do right? When they're sorry for being an asshole? I'm sorry for not being more understanding. I-I just don't like those I care about being in danger."

"And Eero thinks the same," I told him.

"Yeah, I know. Come on kid, let's keep going."

A smile crossed my lips, "Right!"

I know patronized me and they were always protecting me but I couldn't help how that made my heart feel full. I felt loved with Ben and Eero. They weren't just my best friends, they were my family. I didn't need anyone else in this world but them.

Fingers dug into my shoulder as a hot breath hit my ear.

"So...hungry."

A gasp of fear filled my lips as fear passed Ben's eyes. I let out a cry, throwing myself forward, tripping as I did. It was a Delta! So soon too! This wasn't good. My eyes moved to Ben and I was worried for him. But as soon as I looked up to Ben, I knew he was in full warrior mode. It was amazing to watch—it was like something out of a storybook. He let out a roar, kicking the delta flat in the chest, forcing it back.

I looked between them. The delta looked like an old man which made it even creepier. The man was dressed in a Bio-Gen uniform. He had this weird smile on his face. When Ben kicked him back the Delta just laughed before swinging towards Ben. His hands grabbed at Ben's arm before twisting. A grunt left his lips as I watched with horror as he snapped Ben's arm, breaking the bone. He kicked the Delta away again, pain distorting on his face but I could already see his regeneration ability fixing his arm. His eyes dipped to me—searching for any wounds and I scrambled up and gave him a thumbs up. He smirked confidently as his arm fixed. Then he pulled his acid-pistol, shooting two shots into the Delta's head before it could even react. It melted away like nothing. I breathed hard. My lungs hurt as panic filled me.

That was scary.

"Are you alright?" he asked me.

My eyes widened, "M-Me? Your arm!"

"Not the first, not the last."

My eyes lit with admiration. Standing there like a warrior. Blood streaked his muscular arm and he held the gun so cool--he was so cool! My grin was wide.

Dang, my friends were so cool.

"Awesome!" I chuckled.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Alright, let's get moving."

I nodded, "Right!"