Guilty in Love (ishan kishan) { Prequel }

hurting

|I don't want to stop you, |
|      Yet I can't let you go. |

^°^

After returning back from the eventful night of lakshmi puja and sharing moments with Ishan, I Admitted I like him.
It was that moment I realized I can't stay without him.
He's my only friend who cared for  me genuinely, looked after me,
My winnings and losings mattered to him,
He made it obvious I matter to him.

But did he like me? Probably he was pittying me for my vulnerable self and it was an act of sympathy. I do Overthink alot.
It was just an act of kindness for the broken girl, no feelings attached. He said he'd talk with
Pragya, Riddhima and sudhir.
Before leaving I am sure he might have discussed this thing.
I thought things might change, they would realize they are hurting me unknowingly or knowingly but here I am.
Nothing changed.
My seat is empty.
Pragya and Riddhima behind are talking about something, very engulfed in conversation too busy to let me join in.
I know I sound stupid and it's natural for friends to have a convo about anything and they just mix up naturally. Not in my case, it's awkward.

Ishan, who once made Ruckus in the class, is now gone. Everything is silent. All the backbenchers stopped entertaining the class. Maybe, because their Messiah is not present with them.

I shouldn't be worrying much about it. We live in same society right? I have high chances of meeting him then anyone else.
But that time is no where near.
He's fully focused on his state champion. I rested my head on the bench and started thinking about him. I closed my eyes and those moments I had with him started playing in my head.
His smile, his face when he ruffles his hair, his laugh, his hotness when he's playing cricket, everything popped up in front of me.

The brown wooden bench had few tear drops on it. I was crying because I was missing him. I don't want anyone to know I am crying, if teacher finds out I am crying she'll ask it out loudly in front of the class the reason I cried. I don't want people to know I broke down and make up a lie.
I quickly rushed out of the class and went to washroom. I threw few splashes of water on my face and took deep breaths.
I calmed myself down and adjusted my hair a little.
Time to face people again.

»»——⍟——««     »»——⍟——««
{

Ishan's POV}

The wind blowing from the moving train was hitting on my face and it made me relaxed.
The trees and farms of the people were passing by and I was enjoying the beautiful view outside.
Dad is sleeping in the upper seat,
My mind was consumed on how things are going to change from now on.

My dream to play for state level is finally coming true. I kept hoping the controversies of Bihar and BCCI ends, but it never did. Here I am presenting for my neighbouring state.
The image of presenting our country India, playing for India,
Leading victory for India popped up in front of my eyes.
I will grind hard to wear Indian jersey with my number on it.

Funny, how times are going to change soon.
I'll leave with two strangers, I'll have to cook, adjust to whatever amenities provided to me.
One thing I am thankful for, is that jharkhand state association is taking full cost of my expenses and even school granted me the leave. Only during exams I have to come, write the paper and leave.
I am sure another time Prisha will let me copy passing marks.

We reached Ranchi and took taxi to the assigned place.
Anand sir greeted my dad and he showed us around the house.
It was a two storey house, the down floor was occupied with some packaging business and the upper one is where I'll leave.

Anand sir opened the door of the house, the walls had dirty yellow bland of colour and two hanging of paintings and Radhe Krisha painting.
TV was attached to a big wall and was supported by a big drawer of dark brown color.
There was Shree Ganesh Murti kept above the drawer and two luminous sticks light up.
Onto the opposite side was a peach pink sofa with cushions.

Tiles were white with certain black patches on it. We entered the room, there were three one beds, and two windows.
Two boys of 20 something were there. One welcomed us and another one was wearing his jacket. He also greeted us.
They introduced themselves as
Ashwin and Prasidh, both brothers college going.
One pursuing bachelors in Mass media communication another one in third year MBBS. It was easy to guess the window side bed belonged to Prasidh because many anatomy books were lying on that side. They both are from small village in Patna and Anand sir is their Mama, they helped him get this place here.

I unpacked my bags and bonded with those two guys. They were pretty chill. Once I refreshed I took a quick glance at Kitchen.
Ashwin came behind me and said, “ We both suck at cooking, but manage to eat some how. How good are you at this skill”
I chuckled“ I have talent of burning water ” he joined me in sharing a little laugh.

Later Anand Sir took me and dad to show us the city.
Ranchi is very nature blessed place.
Not many factories or industries here, people are calm and scenic beauty. Wow.
He showed Dad the ground we all practice on, and we met few people from Management.
Later he explained to me and my dad about expenses of me.
Dad thanked full heartedly to Anand Sir for giving me this opportunity he said,
“ Bhai. You don't have too. We are buddies man. Your son has potential. Doesn't matter who ever he represents I want to see him in big screen, with people cheering his name, and blue jersey ”

We strolled around the market and Anand sir kept reminding me the schedule I have to follow here
Wake up at 5 am
Take a walk in opposite park of the house till 6:30
Make breakfast and eat it 7:15
Then leave. The cricket Club is fifteen minutes walk from where I stay. Practice Starts from 7:30 to 12
With break of half n hour at 10.

They'll provide the lunch, and again practice round 2 . It will be from 2-5 pm. A little break for snacks.
Again round 3 from 6-9.

I was shocked at first. Again, we can't take this lightly.
It was evening and we left to drop dad at Railway station. He's going back home. I teared up watching my dad leave. I already had an emotional moment with Mom. She acted like her son will never come back when in repli Christmas vacations is just after a month or two.
Raj bhai patted my back, he didn't say much but his silence meant he believed me.

Prisha came to bid me bye. She took me in a corner and asked what were the responses of Pragya, Riddhima and Sudhir.
I chatted with them. I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't. She'll be broken and devastated. I couldn't leave someone crying behind. I lied that I didn't talk with them. She cheered me up and said she's gonna miss me and wished me luck.

Dad hugged me before boarding the train, and encouraged me to stay strong and start living on my own terms. I was overwhelmed. The train  took a leave and dad broke the hug and boarded the train like SRK.
He waved me and went Inside. I just stood there gathering all the moments.

My trance was broken by Anand Sir who patted my shoulder
“ let's leave champ” I nodded and sat on his scooty. He dropped me off at my new home.
Ashwin bro was talking with his gf lying on the bed and Prasidh bhai was studying with light lamp on. My side was dark, enough to fall asleep.

I guess this is the life, I'll have to live. I left everything behind. It's not even a day and I miss them all.
My mom who wouldn't make me delicious food,
My brother,
Who wouldn't throw water at me while I am sleeping,
My dad,
He wouldn't be here to tell me to study.
My friends,
Sudhir, whom I'll tease again and again.
Pragya, wouldn't be here letting me copy.
Riddhima, wouldn't be here irritating me about her and sudhir and talking about serials
Dilip, that 10th senior who wouldn't cheer me up after every game.
And Prisha,
I don't know about her if she feels the same for me. Her absence is itself killing me.

I like you prisha.