It's Definitely Not All Mary Poppins

But Who Looks After The Fathers When Things Go Wrong? (3)

"You sound like me."

"That – " Jun ran fingers through his hair and grunted. "Matthew, please. Let me provide in my way."

Above them, something fell onto the floor. The ceiling showered dust on both me.

"Jun, this isn't safe anymore."

"Who cares? I have done work in worse conditions."

"That wasn't a challenge to – "

"Why are you here, Matthew?" Jun asked, though not with the anger Matthew was anticipating. It was drowning in defeat, blue and soft and falling hard.

Matthew would have offered a retort, but knew any demands would fall on deaf ears. He pulled out his phone and called the hotel. "Hi, this is Matthew Robinson, rooms 403 and 404? Yeah, would it be possible to get another room on the same floor, please? Y...yes, but – no, this would be for my employer, Jun Yang. Yeah, just use the same credit card on my reservation." Matthew hummed. "Anything closer, if possible?" His expression softened. "Thank you. Can we also make dinner reservations for...five at 6:30? Ok – okay. Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Bye." He hung up and slipped it back into his pocket. "What do I have to do to get you to move from here?"

"Nothing," Jun said, standing to get his computer back up and running.

"Jun," Matthew whispered, his hand pressed into the older man's shoulder.

He met Matthew's eyes. His stare started glimmering, and he shook his head. The more he said nothing, tried to compose himself, the more the effort was for naught. Jun sat on the corner of the desk, covering his face from the falling dust, and his shoulders trembled. He mumbled something into his palms, the words shaking.

"Jun."

"I'm so tired," he whimpered.

"I know."

"I'm so sorry, Matt. I-I didn't mean to."

"I know," Matthew whispered.

"No one tells you this. No one tells you how alone life is. I jus – I just wanted a family. A h-happy one. I didn't want this. I didn't want to be alone, with children who hate me and a nanny who can barely stand me." Jun pressed his hands on the sides of Matthew's neck. "I'm so sorry I drove you away. I'm so sorry I did that to you. Please stay. Please stay, Matthew."

"Jun."

"Please don't go, Matt. I c-can't let everything fall apart again. I can't do that to them. I don't want everything to fall apart again."

"Come on," he whispered, tugging the man away. "It's not safe here anymore."

"Don't," Jun whimpered. "I need to work. I am the head of the house – "

"You can work at the hotel."

"The children will hate me wherever I go."

"No, they won't."

"Elliot w-will."

Matthew said nothing. He turned back to his employer and sighed. "Sir, nothing you say, or do, can keep me from leaving. I made my choice."

Jun's face scrunched. He sucked in air through his teeth.

"But if you think I'll abandon Lilly or Eli at the first chance I get, you're wrong. If you think I'm going to leave you in this mess, you're wrong. I'll leave when Lloyd can electrically drive off this goddamned property. That's what I said."

"Please...stay."

Matthew said nothing. He wiped Jun's face with the backs of his palm. "I need you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"Stand up."

Jun stumbled to his feet.

"Why're you still sorry?"

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Matthew wasn't even sure if the man let out a breath. "I'm sorry I slapped you. That time. I'm sorry you've had to put up with me. That I kissed you like that. That I wasn't more grateful for you. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I haven't been trying."

"You have been."

"No, I haven't," Jun said through his teeth. "I don't know why."

"Change isn't easy. It's scary."

"Yes...it scares me, I suppose."

He touched Jun's face, remembering the seriousness in his eyes the first time they met, the intimidating attraction he felt for him. Matthew shook his head, hand dropping. "How long do you want to keep carrying all that with you?"

"I don't know," he admitted, "but I'm so tired, Matthew. Tell me what to do. Please. Tell me what to do."