all I felt in my heart was hurt, the feeling that coursed through my veins was pain, my head was in pain trying to figure out what I had did wrong to deserve what happened, I was nothing but nice to kit and put nothing but effort in, I know we had that blip where I didn't talk to him but we got over that? didn't we?
then I remembered its what's happened countless times before, boys finally realise I'm too much to deal with and they can't deal with my family life along with how I react to situations, ive been told it too many times before to keep up.
I'm just too much to deal with.
I was distracted from my though process by a ping indicating that I had a notification on my phone, I cast my eyes down to the lit up screen to see it was yes another message from the man himself, Kit Connor, I sighed knowing that I still couldn't bring myself to reply to him yet.
I started to feel a pang of guilt for not replying knowing that he hates being left in the dark, but he knows what he did and he can take the repercussions from it.
"stop feeling bad for him" I hear groan from the body in the bed next to me
"myla how the fu-"
"zaiz I know you to well I know how you feel about situations like this, you always seem to think that you have done something wrong and that you have to apologise first"
she sat up so she was facing me in the dark but I could still tell she was looking into my eyes
"trust me z you do not have to apologise for anything in this situation"
"i know myla it's just hard like what if there's anything i could have done to make him want me more?" i questioned but i was mainly questioning myself
i didn't get a response from myla but i just felt her arms snake around my waist and her bring me in for a hug.
that's when i felt it
the lump in my throat and the hot tears in my eyes
then i let it all go
i was screaming and thrashing and crying with tears pouring down my face, myla kept her arms around me as tight as possible and was whispering in my ear stroking my hair trying to calm me down.
as i began to calm down i began to realise that i didn't need to apologise and i didn't deserve this.
i took a deep breath and wiped my eyes as i shakily exhaled.
"fuck him can we get drunk" i said to myla
"is that even a question" she replies.
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