My Allegiant Life-- A Divergent Fanfiction

Chapter 6 Stella

My argument with Lamar upsets me every time I think about it. How he denies that he feels like something has disappeared. Nothing has changed between us, he said, and that's true, but this is making him think. He seems to be reconsidering things that shouldn't be reconsidered. I don't want him to feel the struggle I felt, the inability to live comfortably in my own skin. Knowing everything I've done, everything that I've experienced and struggled through. That was a hard time for me, and he was there for me. If he ends up going through what I did, despite what I tell him, I will be there for him, just as he was for me.

I sit next to him in the cafeteria, Alice, Anthony, Faith, Adrian and Grace sit across from us, we all got the same thing, a hamburger, a slice of cake, an apple, and a glass of water. We are all finished with our meals and ready to leave when the man that held a gun to Lamar's head comes over. He sits between Alice and Grace.

"I heard you two took the test," he says to Lamar and I. He turns to me. "You got Genetically Pure, and almost broke the machines, we will be doing further research on you." He turns to Lamar. "You got Genetically Damaged, you will be just as useful around here-"

"You're not taking anymore tests on her," Lamar says. "Not if she doesn't want to, and Abigale took too much blood the first time-"

"It was merely a mistake, Mr. Polar," the man says. Lamar winces at the sound of his last name spoken by this man. "My name is Nathanial," the man holds out his hand. When neither of us shake it, he presses his palm to the surface of the table and turns to the rest of our group and tells them to go to Abigale, he points to her, and take the test. Then, he walks away.

I grab my tray and stand up and throw it away, immediately starting back towards the dormitories. Someone steps in front of me, someone I don't know. "You are not aloud to leave until 12:30," he says.

"Too bad," I say, dodging his arms as he tries to stop me from returning to the dorms. A few guards start towards me and grab my arms, I rip my limbs from their grips a few times before I am surrounded. I thrash, trying to break their grips on me, but they only take these opportunities to punch and kick me and seize me again. Once they have a firm hold on me, many of them walk away to return to guarding the other exits. Four of them are left. I kick their ankles, making two fall, and elbow the other two in the jaws. I turn on my heel and return to the dorms, hearing one last sentence from them.

"Let her leave whenever," they say. "We can't afford people seeing this, or her killing any of us."

* * *

All of us are back in our dorms now.

We are all on our separate beds, although, Faith and Adrian share Faith's bed, and Alice and Anthony share Alice's. Everyone is asleep accept Lamar and I, we are sleeping in our own beds because of what I said earlier. I won't be able to look at you the same way until you accept it. It's true, I can't see him like he is until he becomes himself again. This is not him, Lamar Polar accepts everything and deals with it. This guy that claims to be him is putting off dealing with what's real. I don't know who he is.

I close my eyes and hope for a peaceful sleep. Hope.

* * *

Abigale. Her glasses are off, it's just her and Lamar in the dorms as far as they know. I am there too, listening to them.

"You know you deserve so much better than her," Abigale says. "And I'm available when you wake up."

"I'm as awake as I can be, Abby," Lamar says in the voice he only uses around me.

"Good," she says. "If you're awake," she says. "Kill her!" She runs to me and throws me into his field of vision.

He pulls his gun out, his beautiful light brown eyes cold. "Stella," he says. The gun clicks. "I hate you, I don't understand why I was ever with you, all you ever did was risk my life, you made me delusional. I will never forgive you." He chuckles. "I guess it doesn't matter, you won't be around to know."