My Allegiant Life-- A Divergent Fanfiction

Chapter 29 Stella

Guess who's back?
Me!
So, I know I've been inactive since like April, but I'm back now!
I decided to wait to start updating again until a certain someone's birthday.
Happy Birthday, Baily! 🎉

Today is another testing day. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this.

Yesterday was great, I got to spend a whole day in peace with Lamar.

But today I have to go back to testing. Today is peace serum. I'm not sure I want to go.

Lamar and I have both already showered, I did while he went to get breakfast.

He looks over at me while shoving the thumb drive into his pocket, I am sitting on the bed. "You ready?" He asks. I nod and stand up."You sure? I know how you feel about peace serum."

I shake my head. "I almost want him to give me too much, but then again, from what I remember, I'm a lunatic when I'm under that stuff."

"Well," he says. "That's because you're normally given the whole syringe, I think you only need about a third of it, so maybe he'll give you half."

"Isn't it measured by height and weight how much I need?" I ask. He nods. "We should get it measured and then make sure I'm getting only a little too much." I start towards the door, starting towards the testing room.

Lamar locks the door behind us. "Are you sure you want too much?" He asks. "I mean-- you never know, any amount of 'too much' might give the same results."

"Well, if that's the case, the same result won't last as long."

He sighs as we start walking down the hallway. "Why do you want more than you need, anyway?"

"I just want to be able to not think for a few hours," I say. "I mean, Cartoons and just relaxing with you at our apartment is great, I love doing that, but that doesn't always keep me from thinking. This will."

He stops. I do to, turning to look at him. He stares at me. "What's going on with you?" He asks softly.

"Nothing," I say. "I--"

"No, it isn't nothing," he says. "If you had taken the peace serum two days ago instead of the simulation, and you were going to more peace serum today, you wouldn't want to go. You'd rather have the perfect measurement than too much because of what happens to you. Is the simulation still bothering you?"

I sigh. "Of course it is, so is everything with Alice, so is Dan, so is my family, so are the meetings. But none of that matters. I just want some time completely away from all of it, okay?"

His expression is seemingly defeated. "You'll get measured, but I don't want you to lose your dignity. I'll have him give you what you're supposed to get."

"Why?" I ask. "Shouldn't I get to make the choice? I'm the one getting injected, I should get to choose."

He shakes his head. "Fine," he says. "I'll let you do what you want, I'm not in the mood to have an argument with you."

I sigh and start walking.

***

Nathanial is back from getting the serum and a few rulers and scales. Lamar already searched the thumb drive, as soon as he stood next to me as Nathanial shut the door behind him, his expression turned into the one he wears when he's confused and trying to figure something out. He shakes his head and looks down at me.

I stand. Nathanial and Lamar begin to measure me, the silence in the room makes this process very awkward.

"5 feet, 1 inch," Lamar says. I frown. Lamar smirks at me.