Tony Padilla Imagines

Long Lost Memories Part 4

A/N:  @sourgirllll Alright so about halfway through writing this in my notebook I realized that 4 parts was definitely not enough so I'm doing a part 5! Now part 5 will be the last part in this story and will probably be shorter than all the others but remember that if any of you have requests I take 6 requests a week and the wait time for your request depends on  when you send your request. Also keep in mind that the more parts you ask for the longer the story takes to write and you won't get any part of your story until it is all written because I don't want you to have to wait forever between each part! Thank you for your reads!

 Your POV 2 years after the twins were born

"What do you mean?" You sat in the doctors office holding Tony's hand so tightly you were worried you'd break it.

"I'm sorry there's just nothing we can do. We can try chemo therapy but that will only delay the inevitable, again I am so sorry." your doctor stands without another word, leaving you and Tony to think about the news you had just received, you had cancer.

You sat there in silence for a moment before you started laughing  hysterically. Tony stares at you in complete shock as you laugh at the news. "You know, and this is going to sound fucked up, but I knew something like this was going to happen." 

You can see the tears in Tony's eyes as the news sets in with you and him having completely different reactions. You were stressed but Tony was scared. He was going to have to raise two kids on his own and you knew he didn't feel ready for that. You stand up without a word to Tony and grab your coat, Tony stands and does the same, opening the door and leading the way through the lobby and out to the car. The drive home is quiet but you can feel the tension, not because Tony is mad at you but because he's mad at the world right now. He's wondering how something like this could happen to someone like you. All the emotions running through your head were nothing compared to the emotions running through Tony's.

You walk in the door and your mom along with your two toddlers great you. You smile at them trying to hide the tears in your eyes. Tony takes your mom back into the living room and gives her the news, you can hear her muffled crying. You take the kids into the kitchen and sit them down to walk them through what's going to happen in a way that a two year old is going to understand. "Hey guys so Mommy is going to go away in a few months and she wants to make sure you know how much she's going to miss you and how much she loves you."

"Where are you going Mommy?" Owen asks, climbing down from his chair and climbing onto your lap.

The question alone makes you want to burst into tears but you hold them back, you don't want to scare them. "I don't know yet." That was the truth, you didn't know because you didn't know what to believe so you were just waiting to see.

"Will you be coming back?" This time it was Raven that asked the question and again it made you want to cry.

You shake your head and give them a tearful smile. " No, Mommy won't be coming back."

"Why not?" Both your children ask in unison.

"That's just the way these things work, i don't like it but it's the way it is." You wipe the tears from your cheeks and pull Raven into your lap. " I love you guys so much and I don't want to leave you but I have to." 

The twins nod and give you a hug. You hug them back, tighter than you ever have before. You let go of the kids just as Tony walks into the kitchen. You wipes the tears from yours and the kid's faces and give him a hug. " I told them in a way I figured they'd understand."

Tony nods. tears building in his eyes once again. "I just don't see why this had to happen to us."

"I know, but it did so let's just make the best of the time I've got left." You rub his back a little before standing and walking into the living room.

Tony and the kids follow you and climb on the couch next to you as you pick out a movie to watch. The kids and Tony all pipe up with suggestions but you ignore them and turn on your favorite. They all roll their eyes but smile all the same. "You always pick this one out Mommy." Raven says climbing in your lap.

You give her a big hug. "I know, it's my favorite."  you smile at her and turn your attention back to the movie.

You know that you all fell asleep at some point during the movie because the next time you open your eyes the living room is dark and the TV had turned off. You check the time, it's 3 in the morning. You sigh and pick up the first of the twins, Raven, who grumbles a little but stays fast asleep. You bring her to her room and lay her in bed. She cuddles up in a little ball with her blanket and the stuffed pink bear Tony got for her the day they got home from the hospital. Once you make sure Raven is comfortable you make your way back downstair and into the living room to grab Owen. You pick him up carefully to try and not wake him up but he wakes up anyway and you sigh. Owen rubs his eyes a little and stretches. "Are you bringing me up to bed?" 

You look down at him and nod. Owen smiles at you and drifts back to sleep as you walk upstairs and to his room. You lay him in his bed and cover him with his blanket. You look around for a moment trying to find the bear that matches Raven's save for it being blue. You spot it and lay it next to Owen in bed. Once you make sure he's settle and go to check on Raven for a second time you make your way downstairs again.You walk back into the living room and see Tony sleeping peacefully right where you left him. You smile and start gently shaking his shoulder. He wakes up and grumbles something about how it's to early for you to be waking him up. You laugh and wait for him to wake up a little bit more before talking to him. " It's early I'll give you that."

"What time is it?" You can hear the sleep in his voice.

"A little after 3. I already brought the kids upstairs." Tony smiles at you and you both make your way upstairs to your bedroom . You both flop over into bed and fall right back to sleep.

A few months later...

You were bedridden. The doctor had told you that the cancer would move quickly but you never thought that he mean this quickly. The last 3 months you could tell you were getting closer and closer to being stuck in bed and on hospice until you would eventually pass away at home. You didn't like thinking about your situation like that but it was the truth. It sounds so odd but when you thin about the idea of dying a sort of peace and calm washes over you. You knew what this meant, after the months of groups that Tony insisted you attend because they could help you and research about cancer and dying, one thing was always the same. When dying people think about dying they're okay with it. You roll over in bed just as your hospice nurse, Rachel walks in the room. " How are we feeling today?"

"The same as yesterday." You're annoyed today by how cheery Rachel is, normally it makes you happy and even distracts you from your situation but today it just made you angry.

Rachel sighs. "Okay, well, I'm going to put your medications through your IV now and then I'll let you get some rest." 

You nod and try to put yourself in a better mood for your kids and Tony and even Rachel who didn't deserve to have you be mean to her when she was taking care of you while Tony was at work. "Rachel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't take out anything I'm feeling on you, especially when you're here to help make me comfortable. I know Tony has been super critical too and that doesn't help anything either.  I guess I'm trying to tell you that I appreciate what you're doing for me and my family."

Rachel smiles at you. "Oh, you don't even worry about it," She waves her hand dismissively. "I've dealt with way worse and frankly  you're one of the best patients I've ever had."

You smile at her and she smiles back. "Thank you."

She nods at you and pats your shoulder. "I'm going to let you get some rest now."

You smile at Rachel as she walks out of the room and slowly drift off to sleep.