10: I'm Waiting Until...

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I'm waiting until...

But you still can't see it

You feigned ignorance ,

You seem dense

But I can sense something ,

Why are you like that?

It's been a while since ,

I know you know what I mean

The gestures , the manners

The things I've done so far

For you , I've crossed the line

But you're still indifferent ,

It's unfair that I'm suffering alone.

I guess I was not clear ,

Though I'm always transparent

I'm always present ,

I'm always by your side

Even if sometimes ,

I'm neglected , unseen , unheard

But I still keep on insisting myself.

It's nobody's fault ,

I guess I overestimated myself

Maybe you have someone but ,

Maybe it's just not right

Even now , I'm still in denial

Hoping you find me there ,

You'll notice me

And see what I can do ,

What I can give , what I can make you

But I'm sincere about it ,

I'm true all along.

And yes I've confirmed it ,

You're free ,

And I'm free but

You have other plans

That I can understand but

Can we do it together?

Cuz I can try ,

And my feelings are settled ,

My feelings are real ,

It's not just a fling ,

It's not just a passing by

It's something that grew ,

Through the years I've known you

Through the years we've been together.

And I don't get it ,

Why you're so afraid ,

Why can't you say it ,

You didn't say it directly but

You don't seem to reject my feelings

You just seem unsure

I'm just so confused ,

Why I'm so stupid

Why I'm so weak to admit

That I'm slowly falling since then ,

And now I'm saying it ,

I'm saying it... And I'm really saying it...

Wait... let me muster my courage ,

Let me tell you this ;

' I like you! , '

What would you say?

If I tell you those words

Those words that I've kept...

I've kept hidden for so long.

Now here it goes ,

I'm finally confessing

Now it's all up to you but...

I don't have regrets

If you reject me ,

I'm still me ,

You're still you

But I'm hoping and praying ,

You find me appealing

Not just a friend

Not just a human being

But more than that ,

I want to be your man

I want to be beside you

In your ups and downs ,

I'll keep you smiling

I'll try to be a better man.

So I'm waiting ,

Now that I've spilled it

Cuz I can wait , I can

But please not for too long

I'm still human.

So I'm waiting until...



~ nniiwwpoetry ~ 07/15/23

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