Love Without Uncertainty | JB | a.u | BWWM

Thirty Six.

After an exhausting day out sight seeing and shopping, I found myself lying flat on the bed, feeling the exhaustion leave my body through my feet.

"You're worn out." Justin laid next to me and smiled.

I groaned.

"You were quite energetic today." He said.

I giggled as I remembered how we'd been running around like teenagers and how we spent hours shopping because I was indecisive about what to get for everyone for Christmas.

"I had fun today." I smiled.

"Me too. And I want to get you to relax now."

"How?"

"I ran a bubble bath for us. We can have some wine in there and then I'll order some pizza for us afterwards."

"Sounds really good."

"Yeah?"

"But I'm too lazy to get up." I smiled.

"I've carried you to the bathroom before. I can do it again." Justin said, referring to the time when we were back in New York and I was beat up.

He was so gentle then, it was moving.

"You can undress me too?"

"I've done it before."

I smiled and rolled onto my back. I spread my arms out and waited.

"This is so sexual." Justin chuckled as he took my jeans off.

"You're always thinking sexual thoughts." I kicked my boots off.

"Am not."

"Are so."

Justin took my socks off my feet then told me to lift my arms so he could take off my sweater and top that I wore beneath it.

I was left in my underwear and the look on Justin's face was priceless. Thankfully, I'd learned to wear matching underwear. You never knew with Justin. I had on a pastel purple and silver pair.

"So... what are we taking off first? Your bra or panties?" Justin asked.

"I think I can take it from here, thank you." I smiled and sat up.

"But you said--"

"You're smirking too much." I covered my chest with my arms.

"I'm admiring you. What's wrong with that?" He laughed lightly.

"It's... weird."

"It's not. I think you're really beautiful, sweetheart."

"You're only saying that because I'm half naked." I pouted.

"No, I only say it because it's true." Justin pecked my cheek. "Now, the water's getting cold. Are you gonna take those off or..."

"Go get the wine." I said.

Justin smiled.

"I love that you're still shy about being naked in front of me. That's cute." He got up and walked out of the room.

I smiled to myself and made my way to the bathroom. I got undressed and stepped inside the soothing bath and I nearly melted as my muscles relaxed almost immediately.

Justin came back with our wine and glasses and he poured us each a glass before joining me in the tub.

He took my foot in his hands and started massaging it.

I smiled at him and closed my eyes momentarily.

I was such a lucky girl.

"Thank you for today, Justin." I said.

"You're most welcome, my love." He smiled.

"Can we stay in tomorrow? I just wanted to chill after our crazy day today."

"You wanna watch movies all day?"

"Yeah. And we can cook together and stuff."

"Maybe you can show me the lingerie you threatened to burn too?"

I smiled, "I'll think about it."

"I'm asking nicely."

"I didn't hear you say 'please'."

"Please."

He was so cute.

Justin started massaging my other foot.

"Dileah?" He said.

I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

"I love you so much." He said.

I blushed.

"Where's that coming from?" I asked.

"I just wanted to remind you."

"And I love you so much too. You make me feel like the luckiest girl alive and I appreciate that. I appreciate everything you do for me."

"You're something special." He stroked my leg gently.

"And you're being a little weird right now, confessing your feelings so randomly." I smiled. "What's going on in your head?"

"Nothing. I just... I just feel happy and relaxed."

"You work too much when you're at home."

"I know. And I didn't really realise until we got here. We're having lots of fun."

"I tried to tell you many times, Mr Bieber. You never listen, you workaholic."

Justin flashed me my favourite smile.

"Maybe after this trip I'll learn to take it easy." He said.

"That would be nice."

"For you?"

"Well, yes, because I'll get to spend more time with you but, also for your health so you can stress less."

"I never stress around you."

"That doesn't make over-working yourself okay."

"You should have a word with my dad about this work thing. Hopefully he listens to you and goes easy on me."

"I will." I smiled.

Justin started playing with my toes.

I realised that he was lost in his own little world. He was quiet and it made me a little nervous. I wished I could read his mind to know what he was planning in that head of his.

It was cute how he'd randomly told me how much he loved me. It made me feel special; it always made me feel special when he said he loved me and being with him never made me doubt that.

But something was going on and I could feel it and I wondered if it had anything to do with the things we'd spoken about over the past few days: our talks about our child and being brave and ready and healing... did it all scare him how much we'd grown as a couple? Was it overwhelming? Maybe he felt we were moving at a quick pace? I wouldn't know these things. I didn't exactly have a good history when it came to relationships. I just hoped I wasn't over doing anything with Justin because I didn't want to scare him. I wanted to enjoy every minute with him and be myself and not fear that he'd wake up one day and think I was too demanding or asking for too much.

One day at a time, I decided I'd take it. And whichever way the wind blew us, I knew I'd fight to stay by Justin's side always.

I was feeling brave.