Too young for war

chapter 5

Part 1🩷

I wake up with a feeling of dread in my stomach. I know I have to go to school today, but I wish I could stay home with Aaron and Ella.

Adam had told Aaron I was at their house yesterday, just in case I lied to him, but that didn't change the panic Aaron had when I was no where to be found.

I apologised many times, and he said it was fine, but I felt terrible, I still do.

I regret not telling him, but I know that If I asked, he would've said no. He would've said it's too late, which I don't really understand, nothing will happen if I walk 5 minutes over to James's house.

I'm still in bed, I don't even know what time it is. I was up for way too long yesterday, but I think I fell asleep around 2AM.

"Elena?" Aaron asks from the hallway.

"why aren't you awake?" He asks surprised.

I close my eyes again, trying to ignore him.

I hope he doesn't feel how I feel right now. I know he's able to, but I hope he doesn't think much about it.

"we have to leave, something came up, are you able to get ready yourself today?" He asks.

I nod.

He sighs and stand by the doorway a little longer before leaving.

"Is she alright?" I hear Ella asks in the hallway.

Aaron doesn't answer and a moment later the door closes down stairs.

I have to go today, if I don't they will find out I didn't go.

I get up, go down stairs to eat, brush my teeth, brush my hair, get dressed in a pink summer dress  with a white cardigan and some white shoes and I'm ready to leave.

The clothes will make me stand out at school, but it's not my fault I don't have the clothes they have.

I leave for school, meeting up with james today also, and this time, it's just me and him.

He is awfully quiet this morning.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Nothing.."

I don't say anything to that.

"so- am I still coming to you and Adam this Friday?" I ask, but he turns to me.

"Why didn't you say anything yesterday?" He asks suddenly looking a little mad.

I look at him surprised.

"what?"

"I thought you would tell me if someone was bothering you."

I realise now what he is talking about.

"You have no right to be mad at me for not coming to you—" I tell him. "You were in class anyway."

He rolls his eyes. "But I would've been able to get out Elena."

"I didn't even think of it at the time james." I roll my eyes.

"I didn't go to anyone, Leon just found me.". I continue.

He looks down and then at me. He takes a deep breath, before nodding.

"okay," he starts. "just come to me next time something is wrong." He tells me.

I nod.

It's a small silence, which makes me wonder how he found out? But the silence is cut short.

"so you know his name" James smiles, looking at me.

"oh look, school—" I say trying to change the subject.

"Oh, so now you're excited?" He asks amused.

I'm on my way to walk away from him, but he calls my name.

"If anything happens, come to my classroom, 302." He tells me.

I nod.

As I walk to my classroom, I stop outside of it.

I take a deep breath. And I try to open the door, but stop.
I can't go in there.

There is no teachers to take control of whatever that can happen if I enter.

if I go in there, I have no idea what's waiting.

Maybe yesterday was just a one day thing? Maybe that's normal? I have no idea, but the kids here are not like the ones I've met in the past.

No one treated james that way when he started?

I open my bag and try to seem busy. I try to make it look like I am looking for something.

"looking for something special?"

I look up to see Leon.

oh please no.

it's so embarrassing what happened yesterday. I hated that I just let him see me crying like that.

I cannot talk to him right now.

"hey-" he says trying to make eye contact with me.

I look at him weirdly.

He chuckles. "are you okay?"

I nod.

"why don't you go inside?"

I keep looking through my bag.

"Did you forget something at home?"

I look at him once again.

"why won't you talk?"

"do you not get the sign?" I ask him.

"what sign?"

"I don't want to talk to you." I say and walk away.

"Hey—" he says running after me.

"have I done something?" He ask concerned.

"no." I tell him.

"then what's wrong?" he asks.

"I just don't want to talk right now."

he sighs.

"okay." He says.

"okay." I say.

"Should I leave then?" He hesitates.

I take a moment to answer.

"yes please."

He hesitates once again, but leaves.

I feel bad, I just can't talk to anyone right now. I don't want to bother anyone today, I even packed my own lunch, so I won't have to go back to the cafeteria ever again.

I may have been a little too mean to him, but I know he probably just think of what happened yesterday when he talks to me now. I hate crying in front of people, even Aaron. I have cried to him many times, but I hated every second of it.

I'm standing in the hallway outside my classroom like an idiot. I need to go inside eventually, so I do.

The second I do, a group of girls turn their heads towards me.

"oh look- The princess is here." One of the girls announces.

"Don't you have a castle to go back to?" Another girl jokes.

it's sad, because I remember I wanted talk to them. I remember being outside with Aaron and seeing them play.

I remember seeing Aaron looking at them too. And I remember me wanting to play with them so bad.