Aaron told me what happened.
I can't breathe.
My head is in Aaron's lap and my legs are curled up in my bed. He is rubbing my back with his hand, going in circles.
Tears are streaming down my face, and they won't stop falling. I feel terrible, I feel like I could've done something!
I should've told Aaron about the feeling! somehow.. somehow I could've helped, I tell myself as I try to get control over my breathing.
It's impossible for me to explain how much I hate my father, words aren't strong enough.
"I could— I could have have done something" I cry out.
my throat is closing up even more, and I feel sick to my stomach. I feel so so guilty and I'm going to throw up any second if I can't breath properly.
"kenji—James—" i struggle to swallow and my heart is going so fast it almost hurt.
"Elena, you need to control your breathing." Aaron tells me as it was so easy, but it isn't. James, Kenji, and everyone at omega point is dead, and I could have saved them somehow!
I feel so much guilt in this moment I feel sick, I feel terrible! I should've said something! I should've told Aaron about the feeling! I tell myself again and again, over and over in my head.
I don't know how I was able to sense danger coming, but I will have to lay that thought behind me for now.
Aaron tries calm me down, but my breathing and shaking won't stop.
"hey" Aaron says calm as ever.
"I want you to take a breath every five second, can you do that?" He asks me. I nod.
I take in a deep breath, but end up coughing.
I count to five again.
Another deep breath, still a cough escape my mouth.
........
I count again, slowly.
Another deep breath, this time it's easier.
I wipe my tears, feeling more exhausted than ever. I start counting again.
1..2..3..4..5
Another deep breath, and my breathing is almost back to normal.
﹌﹌﹌
I wake up feeling terrible. Aaron is no where to be seen, he must have left as soon as I fell asleep.
I sit up and all I do is look at nothing. Everything is blurry until I blink. My brain is not working it best at the moment, and all I can think about is all the innocent people who died because of my father.
Or because of me..
I place my feet on the floor and walk over to my bathroom to wash my face. As I walk in I look into the mirror and I almost don't recognise myself.
My eyes are all red, they are swollen and I look like a mess. A total mess.
My hair is messy, and I have sleep marks on my face, and arm.
Before I start crying again, I turn the sink on, fill my hand with water and splash it in my face.
be excited for the next chapter, it's long and and I really like the ending of it already<3 hope you do too!
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Too young for war
FanfictionI'm so thankful for my brother. So so thankful. I've been at my lowest many times, but he is still here, beside me when I need him the most, he gave me the childhood he never got to experience, and still.. and still I hear people talk about what a...
