Too young for war

Chapter 4

I walk home from school, feeling terrible and embarrassed. I don't want to talk to anyone, or see anyone. I just want to disappear. But I can't. I have to act normal, like nothing is wrong. I don't want to upset Aaron or Ella. They have enough on their minds.

Me and Leon talked for a while, but he had to get back to class. I however didn't, I stayed outside until school ended, but left about 10 minutes before people would go home.

I hope i don't worry James to much though, I should've told him in some way.

I could've just asked Leon to tell him I was leaving early— why didn't I just do that

My head is full of thoughts I can't control, everything is annoying me. My hair, my clothes are itchy, my hand won't stay completely still, I haven't washed them since I went to school and I feel dirty, and I just can't wait to take a shower and go to sleep.

I reach our house and open the door. I hope they're not home yet, I hope Aaron is late, so I can go straight to my room and hide under the covers. But as soon as I enter, I hear Ella's voice.

She came home early today too.

"Elena? Is that you?"

I sigh and drop my backpack on the floor. I fake a smile and walk into the kitchen, where Ella is cooking something on the stove.

"Hi, Ella," I say.

"How was school?" she asks excited, turning off the heat and hugging me.

I hug her back and shrug. "It was okay."

"Just okay? What did you do?"

I bite my lip and try to think of something neutral to say. "Um... we had history class today. That was interesting."

"Oh, that's cool! What did you learn?"

I reach into my backpack and pull out a wrinkled paper with some notes on it. It was supposed to be about the civil war, but it looked more like a mess of words.

"I learned this," I say, handing it to her.

She takes it and looks at it with a smile. "Wow, this is impressive! You're so smart!"

I know she's exaggerating, but I appreciate her kindness. "Thanks," I say.

"Are you hungry?" She asks.

I nod and sit down. I'm not hungry, but if I say no she'll know somethings off.

"where is Aaron?" I ask.

But as soon as I say that I hear the office door open.

This is where the hard part comes in. I cannot hold back my emotions when I see Aaron. It's just something with him. I feel like he always knows if somethings wrong. I feel like when I look at him I want to tell him everything going on in my mind.

I look at him walking up to us, but I can't. I can't take it. I need to leave.

"I need to get something from my room." I say my voice breaking when I say it.

I hate it. I hate it. I hate it so much.

I throw my backpack on the floor and flop on my bed. I don't want to read a book or listen to music. I want to cry. But I can't cry. Crying is weak. Crying is useless.

I stare at the ceiling and wish I could disappear.

.....

my eyes are closed, my mind however is so active I'm starting to get a headache.

my stomach is growling, and my mouth is dry.

the house is quiet, and my room is dark and warm.

I'm sweating and stressing, and I think I really need someone to take the bad feelings and thoughts away.

I get up, and open my door quietly.

The door to Aaron's office is not closed, but almost, I can see him sitting there.

Ella is in there too.

"love, please." I hear Aaron say.

"but something must be wrong-"

"I know that, but it's her choice to tell us, also, we can't just assume something is wrong."

"didn't you feel it when she ran past you?" She starts. "Did you not sense any emotions?"

it gets quiet.

"Aaron?"

I go down the stairs, put on my shoes fast, and walk quietly outside.

It's darker now than it was when I got home, but I like it.

I like how the wind blows in my direction when I walk, i love how relaxing I get.

It takes a short walk to James's house, maybe  a 5 minutes walk.

They live in a dark blue house, with a small front garden, which I love.

I knock on their door to see Adam opening.

"is James here?" I ask.

"he is in his room," Adam tells me tiredly. "do Warner know you're here?"

I nod.

He nods too and opens the door wider.

"do you want anything to drink?" he asks, "water? orange juice?  James told me you like orange juice." He smiles. He looks tired, as if he just woke up.

"orange juice would be nice." I smile.

He goes to the kitchen where I follow. When he hands me the drink I thank him before going up to James's room.

"hi James." I smile when I enter his room.

he looks at me surprised. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep?" He smiles.

"it's 7PM, I'm not 10." I roll my eyes.

He chuckles. "I'm kidding."

He is sitting by his desk reading something. probably homework.

I put the glass of orange juice on a little table and let myself fall onto his bed, where I sigh before turning to him.

"I'm bored." I tell him.

"really?" He asks amused for some reason.

"Yes James. That's why I came here." I roll my eyes.

"and you think coming here will be less boring?"

He closes his book.

"I hoped at least. you usually are fun, but maybe I was wrong." I tell him closing my eyes.

I don't hear any answers, but just a moment later I'm being tickled.

"James—" I scream, but that is soon changed into laugher.

"I cannot deal with your childishness right now James-" I laugh.

"My childishness??" He says pretending to be hurt.

I laugh louder.

"James!!" I laugh.

and just that, one person and one little action made all my bad thoughts turn into sounds of laugher and a better day.

I have not read through this chapter😭 so if there is any mistakes I apologise👩‍🦯