ILLICIT AFFAIRS...JAMES POTTER

thirty-six.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I'm Tired
October 28th, 1979

War was exhausting. Both mentally and physically. The secret missions and the secret meetings were too. Without even counting the mandatory Occlumency classes James had to take every once a week. Once a bloody week. Every week, he had to see Daphne Rosier and let her dive into this mind.

Lily and Sirius had left earlier to a mission. A long one Moody had told them. Remus had gone too—more like fled. No one really knew the whereabouts of Remus these days and Peter was nowhere to be seen, which left James utterly alone.

Sometimes he even wondered if Moody thought he wasn't worthy enough to fight for the right cause? Perhaps he considered him too soft? Unable to kill a man?

So as every other day, James wandered alone in Lily and he's flat. He washed the dishes from the previous nights, he cleaned the space, did the laundry and sometimes went out to buy groceries. That was all he could do during these days.

"Mr Potter, I knew I would find you home," Dumbledore's voice echoed in the flat and James jumped lightly. How did he manage to come in? "There is something I would like you to do."

"Is there?"

"Yes, indeed," he replied, fixing his glasses on his nose. "I would like you to meet with Severus Snape. See, I have been keeping it a secret but Severus Snape has agreed to spy for us."

James frowned, "I thought Daphne was our spy."

"Oh, of course. She is. A brilliant one, must I add," he told him. "But Severus, he convinced Voldemort that he would spy on us."

"Is he a double-spy?"

Dumbledore shrugged, "We could call it like that, yes. All I need is for you to meet, to explain to him what is going on in the Order. Be a mentor."

"A mentor? Me to Snape? I'm sorry, Headmaster but you have chosen the wrong person for that," he snorted.

"Have I?"

"We don't get along, that is all," he replied with a shrug.

The old wizard hummed, "Would you see Miss Evans fit for the role, then?"

"Lily is quite busy at the moment, I doubt she will have the time to even see Snape," he sighed, burying his head between his hands. "I will do it."

"Now that everything is settled, I must go back to Hogwarts," he said, standing up. "Thank you, Mr Potter. I shall send you further information in the week."

"Alright."

As he watched Dumbledore leave, he let out a breath—he didn't know what annoyed him the most: the fact that he considered James for the role or that he wanted Lily. Somehow, James had to convince himself that he had no problem with Lily talking to Snape, he just didn't like the idea of it but one thing he knew was that if one day, she decided to reach out to him, he couldn't say no. Lily Evans was free to make her own decisions and she had been clear about that ever since they started being together.

"I make my own choices and take my own decisions, James."

She had told him after a little argument about her sister, Petunia, a month after the Graduation.

As he prepared dinner, he had a feeling that something was about to happen but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. All he could think of was: mum and dad. He checked his watch to see that it was just about to hit eight. Maybe he was just going mental, locked up and his parents were fine. At that time of the day, Euphemia Potter was knitting or reading a book while Fleamont Potter listened to Sirius' record player in the parlour.