ILLICIT AFFAIRS...JAMES POTTER

five.

CHAPTER FIVE
To Be Lonely
January 7th, 1978

          James had missed Sirius. Yes, they saw each other everywhere and shared a bedroom but it did feel like they didn't know anything about each other anymore. They had made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, Lily had joined them a little before heading back to her small apartment—considering she was Head Girl. James was too, but he had preferred to stay in the dorm with his best mates since it was their last year. Sirius and James were sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace, while Remus and Peter were up in the bedroom doing their homework.

"How is she?" Sirius asked out of the blue and James knew he was talking about Daphne. "When did it even start?"

"Beginning of the school year," James admitted timidly and Sirius' eyes widened. He definitely wanted to argue about the small detail that meant so much, but kept his mouth closed. "And, she's nice. More than nice."

"She makes you happy, then?"

He nodded vigorously, "Very much. It really feels right to be with her," he told Sirius. "How do you feel when you're with Moony?"

Sirius closed his eyes, "I feel loved and happy. The most happy I've ever been," he confessed. "It's like I could be so angry and he would walk in, look at me and I would forget all my anger was about. He makes me better, though I am not sure I make him better."

"You do make him better!" James argued. "Have you seen how much he's smiling? Bloody hell, every day I'm expecting for his face to split in two," he teased and Sirius laughed loudly, "I feel the same with her."

"Really?"

James thought Sirius was trying to be sarcastic and make fun of him, but he genuinely seemed interested by the mysterious girl. He knew deep down that he was restlessly looking for who it could be, Remus had told him a few weeks ago but he didn't care. As long as he didn't say anything then he would be okay, and if—if, they found out then he couldn't do much about it. It would probably feel like a huge relief.

"Yeah, she does," he replied with a small smile, eyes on the crackling fire in front of them. "She loves me, you know? She told me after coming back from the break—and, it felt like everything around me was slowly becoming clearer or warmer? I wouldn't know. It did feel different."

"Bloody hell," Sirius chuckled, lighting a cigarette and it reminded him of how much Daphne used to smoke before, though he wasn't sure he had seen her doing it a lot lately. "She rocked your world, didn't she? What?! Don't—don't look at me like you're a little saint, Potter."

James shook his head with a laugh as he sunk down in the sofa, "Never said that I was, Pads," he answered and heard him gasp loudly. "What is it?"

"You two already had a shag?" He asked, surprised.

James scratched the back of his neck, "I mean, yeah we did. Multiple, even," he admitted with flushed cheeks. "Why do you, Sirius Black, find this so scandalous? May I remind that you used to snog and shag whoever was in your sight before Moony?"

Sirius scoffed, "That was different," he said then glanced at James. "Wasn't it? Besides, my extra activities aren't your business, Prongs."

"Oh, but they are," he insisted. "Moony is my best mate, too. You won't hurt him again," he added, chasing away the vivid memories of the so-called prank.

"I won't," his voice cracked a little and James instantly felt bad. "Are we bound to meet her? The mysterious girl?"

"I hope so," he replied with a sad sigh.