Caught Up

Cavonte | Nineteen

"And all we went through, we ain't see eye-to-eye
But what you told me way back, you was a ride-or-die
So if they give me one, or give me two
Or if a nigga gotta sit down and do a few
Before I go, baby, I gotta know, what would you do?
Would you find someone new or would you stay?
Like the hoes when they lay with me?
Puppy eyes when I go, sayin'
"stay with me"
Aw, girl, you bad as Hell
And yet I'd love to -
But see I got a girl I'm really makin' love to
Therefore I'm feelin' a lot more guilty when I rub you
That's why I skip
all of that kissin' when I fuck you
Flush the condom down the
toilet then I skate
I had you, but you can't have me, I never stay"

I sat in the back of Sean's escalade. Scrolling through my old phones pictures. J cole singing in my ears and all I could do is think about her. What the hell am I doing? I'm messing with different girls every night and believe me it's good but I didn't realize I was just fucking. I felt nothing and I barely kissed them let alone feed them lies about being with them. I realized that with Santana I made love and this whole time I thought I didn't know how. I felt guilty about how I've been treating her. She didn't deserve it. She has always been my ride or die and I did her so foul. It felt too good and the fact I didn't want to stop. I had to end it. Our relationship would've been too messy. Maybe we can reconnect in the future but right now i'm worried about me and my music.

Sean pulled up in front of my condo complex. It's real nice and luxurious. I've been meaning to check out the pool & jacuzzi sometime. Maybe later.

I gave Sean a fist bump and left out the car. My two body guards Craig and Eric right behind me. Surprisingly no paparazzi surrounded the complex but they're always lingering around somewhere.

I checked myself in and told my boys it's alright for now. I'll call them when I get ready to leave. I'll probably stay in for the day. Thinking about it. I did have to meet up with my mom later. I haven't seen her in months and now she wants to see me? I wanted to tell her to go to hell, but I agreed to meet up this afternoon.

It felt so good to lay on my king size bed. My sliding glass doors leading to the outside gave a nice view of the beach. I would've never thought I'd be here. I haven't blown up yet but I have a feeling in just a couple years I will be up there.

I drifted off to sleep. Not bothering to change my clothes either. When I woke up I got a call from this lady that works in the lobby.

"Sorry to bother you Mr. Carter but, you have a visitor. Should I send the person up?"

My mom wasn't playing about seeing me. I didn't want to deal with her now but, I guess I have to.

"Yeah no problem. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Walking into my kitchen I poured myself some soda in a glass cup. Leaning against my counter I thought of what I was going to say to my mom. She had left me, but I still felt love for her.