Only Tolerable//Tokio Hotel •Tom Kaulitz•

Its 2008

After I left Tom's room, I went to find Bill. I found him in the living room. "Hey Bill." I said as I sat down next to him. He looked at me with a smile. "How is my best friend?" He asked. I sighed. "Honestly? I have no idea, everything's hectic right now. What about you, how's my best friend." I replied.

"In need of a change." He said. I looked at him. "Like what?" I questioned. "I don't know yet." He said. I nodded. "Let me know if you ever figure out what you want to change." I told him and nodded and got up. "Alice?" He questioned. I turned around. "Yeah?"

"What's up with you and Tom?" He asked. I shook my head. "Nothing, I can promise you that. It's just, you know how it gets when I have an anxiety attack." I said. He nodded. "Sorry I wasn't here." He said. I shook my head again. "Don't be, Tom actually seemed caring for once." I laughed.

He laughed too and I walked back up the stairs.  I walked past Tom's room and rolled my eyes. When I reached my room. I shut the door. I sat down in my desk chair. I was bored. I looked at my calendar. My 18th birthday was a month away. I hated birthdays.

In Germany, schools a little different. High school for me, was wasn't fun. Let's just say I dropped right before year 10, part of the reason why my parents aren't speaking to me anymore. That's why I hated birthdays, they never called. Not on holidays, birthdays, nothing.

It was silent. Honestly, I hoped everyone would just forget my birthday. People age, they grow old, they live life, they die. Bill always liked to throw me big birthday parties, and Tom didn't really care, it was his excuse to party, drink, and get women.

I stayed in my room for a good hour or so before I went to talk to Bill

"No birthday this year." I said to myself as I got up out of my chair and walked back down the stairs. "Ah! Alice, I was just starting to plan your birthday party!" Bill exclaimed from where he was sitting at the kitchen island, a bunch of party planning books spread out in front of him.

"I was thinking this year we go with a '70s theme!" He said. "Bill...I love and appreciate you, I do, but I don't want a birthday this year...let alone a party." I told him. "You do realize how stupid you sound, right?" Tom said as he walked into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. "Birthdays are always gunna happen." He said. "Yeah. I know that, but they aren't important to me anymore, and they haven't been for awhile." I told them. "Oh, well, what do you want to do for your birthday?" Bill asked. I shrugged.

"Non-Birthday. It's 2008, I think I can miss a birthday." I told him. Tom scoffed. "Yeah, because that's how that works." He said sarcastically. I turned around to look at him. "Shut up. Okay, all your doing is being fucking annoying and stating your opinion on something that you don't even care about! I bet you don't even know when my birthday is." I said to him.

"December 10, 1990." Tom said. Bill shook his head. And I looked at Tom surprised. "It's February 15th you fucking Arschloch! God, ich hasse dich!" I yelled. Sometimes, when someone pissed me off I started speaking in German, I guess it's a perk, being able to tell someone their an ass and that I hate them in a different language.

I shook my head and started walking to the stairs. "Scheisse!" I yelled as I went up the stairs. I caught Bill cursing at Tom in German as I reached my room. I know I said I wish people forgot this birthday, but someone never knowing it who should, that kind of hurt.

I've known the guys for a long time, and we've practically spent every birthday together. I just thought Tom would have at least remembered. Why should I even care about this? I hate him he hates me. It's not that deep...is it?

I was in my room for a good hour literally just sitting there because I didn't have anything better to do, when there was a knock at my door. I didn't say anything, in hopes of whoever it was, that they'd just go away. That wasn't the case.

Before I knew it, my door opened and it was Tom. "What do you want?" I asked, not wanting to be near him right now. "To talk." He said. I rolled my eyes. "About?" I questioned. He didn't answer, instead he shut my door. "The Agreement." He said.

"What about it?" I asked him. He sat down on the edge of my bed and looked at me. "You're having a birthday." He said. I shook my head. "No, I'm not." "Yes you are, in the agreement, it says you do whatever I ask you to do. Your having a party." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"This is for your benefit, right? So you can get laid? Be my guest Tom, y'know there's people out there making money who do that. Maybe you should join them." I told him. "What happened to trying to be nice for Bills sake?" Tom asked. I shook my head. "Sorry, let me just change my birthday do what you thought it was." I told him, my sentence laced with sarcasm.

"Shut up, people forget things." He said. "Tom, no they don't, not when we've known each other for as long as we fucking have. Never, never have I once forgotten your and Bill's birthday, ever."  I said getting up and standing in front of him angrily. 

"You don't know me." He said. I nodded. "Well you've never given me the chance to get to know you, Tom!" I yelled. "Really Alice, because that has two ways, you've never exactly given me the chance to get to know you either!" He yelled, getting up and also standing in front of me.

I looked at him. "Because I hate you!" I said. "How can you hate me if you don't know me?" He said, more calm now, but still pissed off. "This argument isn't going anywhere." I said. It was true, we just kept yelling the same things at each other over and over.

"Yeah, well, how can you hate me if you know nothing about me. C'mon Tom, you didn't even know my birthday." I told him as I looked up at him. I didn't think we were that close, but any closer and our noses would be touching, and I felt the brim of his hat hit my forehead. We were to angry to care. "Like I said, people forget things." He scoffed.

I looked at him. This sounds like an argument I'd be having with Logan, which made me feel like shit. I missed him, wish I didn't but I do. I had to get my words out before I flipped and started crying.  I looked into his eyes again. I could already hear my voice failing me before I spoke. "...i-it's 2008...and..and I still hate you..." I said, my voice breaking, my eyes never leaving his as I spoke and his eyes never leaving mine.

I watched as his brown eyes softened for a moment and I shook my head and ran out of my room, down the stairs, and out the front door and down the street. "It's 2008 and I still hate you." Fucking Christ.

My life was screwed, Tom and I hating each other for who knows what reason, the whole thing with my parents, the agreement Tom and I made, everything with Logan. Fuck, I miss Logan, and I shouldn't, but I do...maybe he's not the one I'm missing.

People miss the people they hate sometimes

People miss the people they hate sometimes

A/N: I don't know if some if the German is correct, I'm still learning it/bare with me/ I hope all of you are enjoying this story as much as I am writing it 🖤)