Take Me To The Ocean (Editing)

Chapter 7 - Josh

I stared up to the light above me as I lay on my bed. I had barely touched the pizza mom sent up for me. I was lost in thought. About the letter, about Stella. I remembered her face as she read the letter, the excitement she got when she thought she would find out who saved her. I died inside when her excitement died out.

I was considering telling her it was me, but I had my doubts. What if she thought I was a coward? What if she couldn't look at me the same way again? These thoughts raced through my mind. All the "what ifs." It made me crazy. If I told her, maybe she'd be grateful, maybe she'd be mad. But if I never told her, I'd never know.

I ended up promising myself that I'd tell her as soon as I could. And face-to-face. I couldn't stand a day more with her feeling bad, or curious. I agreed to tell her the Monday after that.

The following morning, I woke up early and left for the beach to catch morning waves. I decided to use my new board. I saw it at the local Rip Curl store a year and a half ago and ever since I'd been saving up for it. It was a bright scarlet with colorful palm trees at the bottom. I packed my small backpack with my board wax and a towel and began walking to the beach. I didn't live right by the beach the same way Stella, Kianna and Colin did. My place was about a block away.

When I reached the shore, I put down my bag on one of the tables. I waxed my board, sitting next to it on the sand. The waves that morning were strong. I watched as they built up in size. The same way it was when I stopped to watch Stella. The way she moved around the waves so smoothly and swiftly, and how it broke at the single wipe out. It reminded me of my dad.

I caught my first wave when I was seven. My dad taught me when we were on vacation in Cali. We hadn't moved here to Hawaii yet. I had a few wipeouts at first, but I eventually got it. My dad pushed me to ride the waves perfectly. How to maneuver the board better, and all that. One morning, I found my dad surfing in the morning alone. I had walked to the beach alone upon reading dad's note: "surfing down at the point." I sat on the beach and watched. He rode the waves better than ever. I examined and took mental notes down for my next wave. On this one wave - a great big wave he rode, he fell of his board after perfecting an aerial. He went back-first into the water, slamming down hard. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I started screaming, after all, what can a seven year old do when there's no one around? When he didn't come back up and I ran the two blocks back to our motel and called for mom. That day, I lost my dad. I swore I wouldn't let anything like that happen again. I swore to not let anything like that pass by without me doing anything. That's why I saved Stella. Because she brought me an opportunity to do that day over.

After my board was completely waxed, I headed for the water. It was colder than usual, but my body adjusted. The swell of the waves were building quicker when I got in. It made it harder to get out deeper into the ocean.

The first wave I caught that morning was a bust. I fell over as soon as I got on. The waves I caught next became better and better. I tried to get up early on most days to surf so my ride could get better. I'd been anticipating joining an annual longboard competition. The summer before, I had gone to the beach to surf, but the contest was ongoing. I instead sat there and watched. The judges were some of the most highly acclaimed surfers in Hawaii. I planned on signing up the next summer.

After a few waves, I had gotten tired so I paddled back to shore. I noticed someone was sitting on the sand. When I reached the shore, I recognized the person. It was Stella. My stomach flipped when I remembered I had to tell her. I took off my leash and approached her. "Hey," I greeted. Her crutches were rested next to her.

She looked up and closed the book she was reading. She smiled and said, "Hi." I sat down next to her with my wetsuit just hanging by my sides. "I didn't realize that was you out there."

I let out a fake laugh, still haunted by the fact that I had to tell her sometime. "What are you doing out here, anyway?" I asked.

"Haven't been on the sand in a while, which sucks serious ass," she said. I ended up laughing a real laugh. She put her book on her crutches and watched the waves. I stared at her as she looked out to the ocean. She giggles out of nowhere and looked down, then back up again. "I remember one time, I was in my room just staring at my boards, then out my window to watch the current," she began. "I let out a big sigh and just randomly said, 'take me to the ocean, please.'" She began to laugh. I went along with her.

We talked for a long while, although I barely paid attention. My mind was still racing on how I would break the news to her. I honestly felt like she was finally opening up to me, which made telling her all the more harder. I watched her, and how her lips were moving, but I could barely hear a word she had spoken. I just looked at her, smiling and nodding. I had too much on my mind.

When I stopped thinking too much about situations, I started listening to Stella's stories. It turns out, she had a lot of interesting stories. I guessed a lot of things happen in New York.

"You're pretty good," she said, changing the topic and jerking her head at the ocean, and not looking back at me.

I smirked. "Not as good as you," I replied. It was true.

She smirked as well and said, "If I was I wouldn't have this." She slapped her cast and glared at me, like a joke. That's when my thoughts again returned. I realized that was the perfect time to tell her.

"I have to tell you something." I couldn't have said it at a worse time. Right when I began, she said that she had something to tell me, too. "Oh, you first," I told her. She refused, and told me to go first but I insisted for her to go first.

She sighed and began. "Okay, so uh," she paused for a while, but went on. "Colin asked me out."

I should have gone first.