BURNED - A Chicago Fire Fanfiction

Chapter Thirty Nine

My heart was racing as I ran through the burning building, trying to find my way out. I was alone. Why was I alone? The urge to cry strained my throat. "Come on, Spock!" I heard everyone shouting. "Come on! Hurry!" I followed the sound of their voices, smiling when I saw the doorway. Everyone was outside waiting for me, arms outstretched for me. I ran towards them, but let out a scream as the floor caved in, swallowing me up. As I looked up from the hole I fell through, I watched the floors above me collapse, the sound of crashing metal filled my ears, the familiar smell of soot, jet fuel, and smoke burned my nose and lungs.

I sat up in bed, heavily panting as I clutched the blankets to my bare chest. A gentle hand rubbed my back. "You okay?" The person next to me asked.

"Yeah...bad dream," I answered between breaths. The person next to me sat up and gently kissed my shoulder.

"What was it?"

"I was in a burning building...alone." Tears brimmed my eyes. "I was so scared."

"Hey, come on, don't cry." Their arms wrapped around me. "Look at me." I looked into their familiar brown eyes and smiled. "You'll never be alone, okay? I'm not going anywhere. I love you."

"I love you too, Brian." Otis softly smiled and gave me a gentle kiss, reigniting the flickering flames in my stomach.

My eyes slowly opened and I was met with darkness. The sound of rain pitter-pattering on the roof filled the room. I slowly sat up and brushed the hair from my face. Boromir whined next to me. "Sorry, Boromir, I didn't mean to wake you," I softly spoke. "Just had a hell of a weird dream."

My mind went back to my bed where Otis had been laying just moments ago, but now was occupied by Boromir. His touch was so gentle, his lips were so soft, warm, inviting...I shook the thought from my head and sighed. Boromir nudged my arm with his nose. "What? You think I love him too?" Boromir stared back at me.

From the moment he kissed me on the roof, I knew I was in love with him. Even before that I believe I had started developing some feelings toward him that went beyond friendship, but that's the problem...I was in love. My mind went back to the towers, to Kent. Jamal knew I liked him and was trying to push us together, but before either of us had the chance to even discuss the possibility of going to dinner...he was gone. Kent died, Jamal died...and I was alone. K'eon always tried to support me through it all, but for months, I felt truly alone.

I was so scared to get close to anyone anymore, even with K'eon. The constant fear that they'd be gone in a blink of an eye paralyzed me, preventing me from connecting with anyone. It took K'eon threatening to have me committed to get me to finally start coming around. We cried, hugged it out, and everything was okay between us again. Still, that fear of losing everyone I loved nagged me constantly. K'eon knew this, which is why he was trying his hardest to find me a man, hoping to break me away from that fear.

I had found a man. I found a truly amazing man who has been there for me through everything since coming to 51, but I was so scared. I had nightmares where he died in fires, where I was at his funeral, and I'd wake up crying so hard that I'd end up texting him to make sure it was just a dream. Sometimes he's answer right away, but other times it'd be at least an hour, but he never once left me on read or didn't bother to read the text. He would see my text and immediately respond, no matter what he was doing or where he was.

Everyone hinted that he liked me, even I saw the signs, but I ignored them, I had to. I was in denial that he loved me because I wanted to protect myself.

"You're still up?" K'eon asked as he poked his head through the doorway.

"No," I mumbled. "Just a weird dream."