Either Me or Him

Chapter 27

Kelly rushed to her room after her conversation with Beyoncé and when she was in the hallway, Mama Tina came out on the spot and they ended up bumping into each other.

"- Kelendria, honey, I'm sorry. I didn't see you."

"- No problem, Mama Tina. I apologize to the lady! I was running and didn't see you. Sorry!"

"- Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"- I'm going to my room." Kelly was avoiding looking into her eyes so that she wouldn't notice that she was crying, but it was in vain.

"- Kelly, what's going on? Are you hiding something from me."

"- It's nothing, Mom. If I may..."

Kelly turned her back and left. But like a good mother, Tina paid attention to the voice telling her to go after her heart daughter.
Kelendria without resisting, opened the door and let Tina in.

"- Kells, my beloved daughter, I saw that you are not well. Come here in the arms of your mommy."

Kelly instantly threw herself into her arms and cried. Everything that was happening was really messing with her and she couldn't stand to play hard to get. She needed a shoulder to cry on and a warm hug to comfort her and Tina had what she needed at that moment.

"- Put it all out there, my dear."

After crying all she had to cry, Kelly and Tina sat on the bed to talk.

"- Kelly, now that you are calmer, tell me what is going on."

Kelendria took a deep breath and wiped her eyes and decided to open her heart to her.

"- Mom, everything between me and Beyoncé is happening too fast and I couldn't digest it all at once. From our brief courtship to our abrupt breakup, the jealousy scene at the nightclub, the reconciliation requests and now her divorce." She realized that Tina was random about some things, so she had to go back to explain. "- During the time we were in Houston, Beyoncé and I talked about our feelings and she acknowledged that she loved me and everything and from that day forward we assumed a secretive relationship until she sorted out her situation with Jay.

Those days were the best days of my life." She smiled with the memory of the sweet moments that came into her mind. "- I was happy and so was she. It was clear to see! But all that ended after a few days of our stay in New Orleans when Jay and Ciara showed up there.
Add the fear of Jay's reaction, in case he found out about us, and the fact that she was dying of jealousy for Ciara to come to the conclusion that we should give up our plans and move on with our lives. And that's what I did after I begged her not to do it.
During this period Ciara re-approached me and helped me to deal with the breakup. She was the friend and right hand I needed at that time, but I blew it last night after the relapse I had with her daughter."

"- Did you break up with Ciara, Kells?"

"- Yes, because after sleeping with Bey I am sure that I would hurt her if I continued with her."

"- Why?"

"- Because I still love Giselle, even though I don't want to, I love her." She cried.

"- Don't be like that, my baby." She said as she soothed Kelly. "- Know that you did the right thing! It is for this and other reasons that I am proud of you, you know?"

"- Thank you, mama Tina."

"- Kells, what happened that you came crying down the hall?"

"- Mama, I can't stand Giselle wanting in and out of my life anymore.
She just showed me her divorce paper and I was sad."

"- Why did you get sad?"

"- Because this is not the first and not the second time she has asked to get out of mine and then comes back as if I have to accept her at a time that suits her and that is not how things work.
Every time I open and then have to close the door of my heart to her it's as if I have to rebuild myself from the ashes to continue on this trajectory called life, without a part of me. And honestly, it is not easy at all, because I love her hopelessly and all I wanted, even knowing that I am displeasing the word of God and not wanting to make Him sad, I wanted to be able to live this love. But everything that has happened has made me afraid that this will be one more frustrated attempt.
What if she decides to go back to him even after the divorce? What if she thinks she rushed into it? Once again I will suffer."

"- Kelly, you have been through a lot and it is normal to feel this way. Unfortunately nothing has been easy for you and yet you fought for my daughter from the beginning, but all she did was give up and give up on you. But of one thing I am sure, she loves you as much as you love her.
I know it's hard to believe that she loves you even after so many comings and goings, but Bey has loved you since when you first met." Kelly was surprised, because she didn't know. "-I remember a few weeks after your mother and I introduced you, I went to Giselle's room to see if she was okay yet or needed anything and when I went in I saw her sleeping next to her journal and it was open on a page that said:
'Dear diary, since I met Kelly I don't know who I am anymore. I know that if I tell my parents or anyone else I will be judged, but I can't stop thinking about Kelendria. I think about her smile, how beautiful she is, and how good she makes me feel. I think I'm madly in love with my best friend.
I distinctly remember each of those words. I was shocked, because I didn't expect that my 13-year-old daughter would fall in love with her best friend.
The first few days I was shaken by this, because it is not in keeping with God's commandments and I prayed that it would change, but every day I could only realize how much she loved you, even if she didn't let you see that her love for you went beyond friendship, but for me it was obvious, because I know my daughter. Then, at some point, I realized that the best thing to do was to put it in God's hands, because I couldn't judge her and much less force her to forget her feelings for you. With time I learned to respect even more the fact that everyone has the right to choose what they want to do with their lives and what was up to me was to believe that God would do the best in your lives. It was only after reaching this conclusion that I plucked up the courage to call her and talk to her, I couldn't keep quiet any longer. It was then that we talked and she said everything she had silenced and one of the things she mentioned was that even though she loved you, she wouldn't have the courage to declare herself because she was too afraid of losing you forever and if that happened she thought she was unable to handle it."

"- Mama Tina, I didn't know she felt that way about me since that time."

"- She loves you not just now, but you tried to silence her feelings and be sure of one thing, it was not easy for her at all. Several times, even after being with Jay, she would call me crying because she wasn't happy without you in her life, and many times I had to go to her house to stay there until she got back on her feet emotionally.

Maybe you're wondering why I'm only telling you this now, aren't you?" Tina paused as she held Kelly's hand. "-I didn't want to get into your lives and the choices you've made for your lives and all of this is something Giselle should talk about, not me. I don't know if you understand me."

"- I understand, Mom."

"- Thank you!" She thanked him before continuing. "- However, now that she has said everything she feels for you, I have found myself having the need to at least listen and advise them about it.
Kelendria, I know it's really hard to believe after all you've been through, but Giselle really does love you and is willing to acknowledge that love. So, if possible, give yourself and her this last chance. Then you will see if everything I have told you is true or not. But give her permission to love you, because that is what she wants and is trying."

Kelly thought about what Tina said, and before she could define any answer, she said "- Mom, I'll think about it. I can't guarantee anything at this time and I ask for your understanding."

"- Be at peace, my child. The best thing is to make any decision with a cool head. So take as much time as you need for that, but don't let it be too late."

"- Thank you for everything, mama Tina. I love you lady!"

"- No need to thank me. I love you and I care about you just as I care about Bey and Solange. The 3 of you are God's gift to my life. So as long as there is life and health in me you can count on me and my love for everything." Tina dried the tear that came down her eyes and then gave Kelendria a tight hug. "-I'm going to go now, if not Solange and Bey will think I've been kidnapped when they look for me and don't find me." Tina laughed along with Kelly as they imagined the scene of Solange making a scandal while looking for her. A few minutes later she left, leaving Kelly to ponder everything that had been said.

When Tina locked the door to Kelendria's room, she saw Beyoncé opening the door to her own room with one hand, and in the other hand she was holding a bottle of wine, but Bey didn't see her.
She knew that Beyoncé must have been thinking about drowning her sorrows in that bottle, because her daughter was not one to drink alone, except when she was sad, and she certainly is.
"-Hey, Bey!" she called out.

"-Hi, mommy! There you are, ma'am." She said forcing a smile as she turned around. "- Where were you? Solange and I called you in your room, but you didn't answer. Solange soon became worried and was about to make a fuss, but I calmed her down by saying that you might be asleep."

Tina started to laugh because she had just talked about it with Kelly.

"- Why are you laughing, Mom?" Beyoncé scowled.

"- It's just that I just told Kelly that I'd better go back to my room before you all miss me and Solange starts to despair." Beyoncé couldn't take it and laughed at the situation, as her mother knows very well the daughters she has. "-I kind of anticipated the situation." Tina laughed.

"- So you were with Kelly this whole time?"

"- Yes, I was spending time with her. And you, where were you when you arrived with that bottle of wine in your hand?"

"- I was trying to work out the plan that Solange and I put together for me to tell Kelly everything, but I did and it didn't work out. She didn't want to give me another chance." Beyoncé paused as she ran one of her hands over her forehead. "- I don't understand why she denied me another chance after the divorce. We both wanted it, Mom, and now that we have it she doesn't want me anymore.
I'm trying to do what I should have done back there, but she seems insensitive to anything connected with me.
What do I do?" She asked with a sad look on her face.

"- Don't give up on her. Don't give up on you!"

"- What if she doesn't love me anymore?"

"- Giselle, Kelendria never stopped loving you. Just earn that love she has for you instead of giving up at the first hurdle."

"- You are right. I was thinking of canceling plan B, but I won't do that."

"- Plan B?" Tina questioned.

"- Yes, Mom. I've planned something for tomorrow ."

"- But tomorrow is the show! What do you plan to do if you won't even have time to breathe?"

"- Tomorrow you'll see.
I'm going inside now, Mom. I need to make some calls.
Good night!
Love you and thank you so much for the injection of hope."

"- Beyoncé, I can't believe you're going to make me curious."

"- See you, Mom..."

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I wonder what Beyoncé intends to do? Answer in the comments. ;)
Sorry for the translation errors and the monotony of the chapter.
I hope the next one will be better.