Love and War - Aemond/Aegon Targaryen

Chapter 9

Arlenna was sat beside Aegon again, hands folded in her lap as she watched every rise and fall of his chest.
He'd been out for days and there'd been no sign of him waking up.
She'd tried to get Helaena to visit but the news that Aegon was at death's door had only driven her further into her solitude. Alicent was splitting her time between the two of them while Aemond held the realm together.
Arlenna had spent every day here. Sat beside Aegon.
Sometimes she had brought Visenya. The girl was too little to understand what was going on and every day she'd throw a tantrum and shout "baba" until she was brought to see Aegon. Even if he was unconscious she liked to curl up beside him and play with his hair.
Arlenna had hoped that maybe, just maybe, it might wake him up. But there was nothing.
Even, in her darkest hours, she'd tried poking him in the ribs to get him to wake up. Perhaps the pain might've jolted him up. But it did nothing. It was like he wasn't even really there at all.
“These conversations of ours are beginning to get particularly one sided.” She said with folded arms. Her nursemaid had just taken Visenya and the sun was beginning to lower in the sky. Soon she would have to return to her chambers and lie to Aemond about where she'd spent the day.
Of course, everyone knew that she visited Aegon. But none of them were aware she spent every moment from sunrise to sunset with him. Hoping, praying, for a sign that he might wake up.
“I remember once, when we were children, you said the only benefit of becoming King would be having me sent off to marry some far away Lord so you never had to see me again.” She laughed through tears, sniffling away her pain as she thought of their shared youth. “I think it's a little late for that now so you'll have to accept that you're stuck with me.”
She reached down and held his hand again, her thumb running along his knuckles. The skin there was soft. Still unburnt and unscarred.
She recalled the way that same hand used to cup her cheek when he kissed her. The way it held onto her back when he hugged her.
“I want to be stuck with you too, Aegon.” She whispered. “Please don't be an idiot. We all need you. I need you.”
There was still nothing. No small acknowledgement that she was there.
She wondered how much milk of the poppy he'd been given for the pain.
Slowly, she raised his hand up to her lips and held it there, pressing soft kisses against each knuckle. “Aegon, I... I can't lose you. Not because you're my king...” She gulped, closing her eyes. “Because I love you.”
A small, weak, squeeze of her hand sent her eyes jolting open.
For a moment, she thought she might have imagined it. She thought it had been nothing more than wishful thinking.
But then, as she stared down at the King, two bright violet eyes opened and stared right back at her.
For the first time in days, her tears were that of joy. She smiled as they fell down her face.
“Thank the Gods!” She said, unable to stop herself from hugging him.
She stayed there for a moment, her head on his chest, before she began to realise that perhaps this wasn't entirely proper. But, as she made to move, Aegon pulled his frail arm up and held her there.
He sighed.
Everything had been a blur since Meleys. He remembered being hit with dragonfire. He remembered Sunfyre going down and taking him with him. Then darkness with only the briefest moments of lucidity.
Flashes of Aemond dragging him up and hoisting him onto Vhagar. Of his brother holding onto him so he didn't fall into the great unknown below them, telling him to stay with him.
Of being carried inside and the sound of his mother's sob.
Of Visenya's little hand prodding his cheek saying "Baba" over and over again in the hopes he'd wake up.
Of Arlenna. Every day. Small snippets of longer conversations she'd had with him while he'd been out cold.
She'd stayed by his side.
She'd cried over him.
She'd told him she loved him.
She'd brought him back.
His brother's wife was crying on his shoulder.
“Crying doesn't suit you.” He said, gently stroking her hair.
It earned him a small laugh between sobs. “Never do that to me again. Never.”
“I will try not to.”
Much to his chagrin, she pulled away. But he could still smell her. That sweet smell of rose and vanilla. He could still feel everywhere that her skin had made contact with hers, as if small bolts of lightning had struck each point.
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and it was only then that Aegon saw how red they were.
How long had she been crying over him?
“We won?” He asked, voice croaky.
It didn't sound like him.
She nodded, a small smile as she fiddled with her hands.
“Thanks to you. Who'd have thought.”
“I, personally, always thought I was meant to be a great warrior.”
She laughed. “Shut up.”
“You can't tell your King to shut up.”
“Will you have me killed?”
He tried to laugh for one brief moment before the pain on the other side of his face made him groan. The smile fell.
“Should I fetch a-”
“No. No I just want to rest.”
“I'll leave you to-”
He reached out and grasped her hand, locking their fingers together, as she stood to go. Arlenna looked back at him with wide doe eyes. She blinked in surprise and confusion.
“Will you stay with me?”
She glanced out the window. It was still only early afternoon. Aemond wouldn't be done with the small council for a while yet and Alicent had already visited Aegon for the day.
She nodded.
The King patted the bed beside him. It was so large that two people could lie in it all night and never touch. She wondered if that's what it had been like for him and Helaena while she and Aemond had been happily together.
Arlenna sat on the bed. She had to admit it was comfier than the chair she'd been occupying.
Gently, she moved to smooth the hair from his face. As if on instinct. Aegon watched her the entire time, as her fingers gently danced along his skin in such a delicate, loving, touch.
He'd heard her words. Perhaps not all of them but enough.
Because I love you.
As she moved her hand away, he took a hold of it and placed it on his chest. Right above his heart.
It was beating steadily, and that seemed to reassure her a little more.
The sheer amount of milk of the poppy that the Maesters had given him overwhelmed him once more. Silently, he slipped back into sleep.

Arlenna woke to find herself in Aegon's bed. Her head was on his chest, listening to his heart, and her arm was wrapped around him protectively. As if letting him go might mean she lost him.
Her head was a little fuzzy from the drowsiness of sleep.
Outside, the sun was beginning to set.
She'd slept the whole afternoon away in Aegon's bed, holding him like she was... Like she was his wife.
Quickly, she moved away from him and straightened her skirts.
In his sleep, Aegon reached out for her and groaned when he couldn't find her.
He had woken up.
He had spoken to her.
It was a miracle.
But a part of her didn't want to leave him.
She wondered how much he'd heard. Wondered if he knew what she'd said to him... What she never should've said to him. Wondered if he knew that it was true. That it would always be true no matter how much she wished it wasn't.
And then she rushed out of the door and didn't look back.
Being there, spending so much time with him, had been foolish.
It reopened old wounds. Reopened old feelings.
The truth was, she did love her husband. She loved him with all her heart. Aemond was everything she wanted.
But some part of her, something inside her heart that she'd shut away in a box for years now, still loved Aegon too.
Perhaps it always would.
Perhaps she was doomed.
Doomed to love her husband and his brother.
Doomed to love a Prince and a King.